Twisted

I often wonder why I can't make myself enjoy the simpler things in life:
1) friendships
2) warmth
3) kindnesss
4) love

and why do i choose to complicate it with so many things.

The life I wished for in childhood is not here yet.

I remember reading stories with longing for that close-knitted friendships shared by others which I always seem to have problems obtaining

And being told that one lacks the warmth of a woman doesn't help matters either, whatever that means

I am supposed to be working now, and I will return to that soon

I am restless, I am bored, I feel suffocated, I need to move on

I can't seem to enjoy life the way normal people can

Is something the matter with me?

Education

I am thinking of going back to education...as a student.

I have been teaching for the past semester and a half, it will be coming to an end soon, as will another project I am working on, once I can get enough information to work on for the latter.

IN fact, I am in the process of registering as a student, ironically spurred by the thought that this will allow me to find some funding for my research and thus rid myself the further need to have to juggle work and scholarly research at the same time (the former had been the bane of the latter).

I was really 'brain-drained' (no relation to the actual brain drain problem my country is facing) the past two days, I think due to my inability to sleep long enough before waking up and the waking hours spent on squeezing my brain muscles (not that there is much effort needed in the process) on a myriad of things.

I am not too happy with the way things are going at the moment but I hope for improvement.
Too busy to think about how to sort everything out. I think that I have a bad habit of biting off more than I can chew, literally and figuratively.

Here I am, sitting in front of my notebook blogging when I have other things commanding my attention.

bugger
Clarissa