A little silver in the lining

Just when I thought that most things are going rather badly in my life, there are a few good things happening that I can look forward to, even though they are not quite going on in the way I'd envisioned, but still, they are still good things.

Firstly, just when I thought my creative spirit is in the dwindle, I've decided to explore another way of writing that might perhaps be another path around to what I've always wanted to achieve. Despite my frustrations many a times, I realised that what I have to go through right now is actually very good training ground, for me not only to sharpen the technical skills, but also to find my voice and spirit. In the noise of life, much has been buried, and the focus blurred. But by being forced to do what I have to do, I become more brutal with my thoughts, my ideas and the way I convey them. I also learn more about my limitations, about the skills I have or lack, about weaknesses that I can compensate for and strengths I can draw on.

One of my poems is going to be published, for the third time, but in a daily that is read by a large majority of the population of Malaysia, from the urban towns to the rural margins. I will not say more until the actual day itself. It is not very great but it is still an achievement of sorts. A little one at this point. In a way, it fulfilled a childhood dream that I had, though of course, being much older and wiser, I no longer have the same kind of excitement I would have had as a teenager, should that had happened then.

I am also beginning to realise the naivety with which I'd approached writing in the past, and how I'd written pieces without giving them the kind of thought I should have, or how I had been delusional in thinking that this particular kind of writing is considered good writing. By getting bumped and bruised, and keeping whatever bloated ego I have under control, and taking brutal criticism as a learning point, and being willing to see them through rather than push them under the carpet, I am beginning to find the location of my muse.

And I realise, I am not alone, for many others share the same harrowing path, but managed to come out triumphant.

There is another good news but that one I'll have to wait til the week after next to say anything more. (: