A day for crime

In between reading Lacan, I decided to listen to some music on the net. In powering up my
Realplayer , I came across an ad for a new movie about the infamous madame, Heidi Fleiss. Which of course led to some googling (not that I don't know about her already), which brought me to the crime library and an afternoon spree of reading through all the stories on criminals. This is not the first time I've been to this site, the last time being last year and an entire night spent on going through all the historical scums of the earth. However, after reading the brief story on Fleiss (what a coincident that a psychoanalyst mentioned by Lacan in his Ecriture I was reading is a Dr Fleiss, I decided to look at a few on child criminals, and one which caught my mind was one who used to be labelled "Long Island Lolita". However, she is now a far cry from the wild and troubled teenager, and has her own column. It is always heartening to read how someone who has fallen to the lower most pit of darkness has risen up and made something of her life, and now fight for causes that most people can't be bothered with. Here was a former juvenile murderer, a victim of statutory rapes (read her story in the Crime Library) and an unrelenting press who could not get enough of demonising her. Her column is defnitely NOT trying to vindicate herself of her follies, unlike the memoirs written by many adult criminals.
I wonder in a small country like Malaysia, would you have a chance to escape your demonic past?

Today is a public holiday in Malaysia. I am supposed to be home relaxing. I am home, relaxing (whenever I fall asleep) but reminding myself that I've got many deadlines. Sometimes I feel so very alone. Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes, I just want to leave everything and disappear, to write and create without all these problems I am faced with. Give up all my responsibilities.