We might wish to appear fair and equitable to others, but subconsciously, our reactions and favours are directed by an innate sense of aesthetic. It is true that people do judge a book by its cover, at least where first impressions go. Yet, in that flitting second, first impressions can actually open or close the doors to getting beyond the first acquaintance, to friendship, love and maybe marriages for some. Not everyone has the chance to get reacquainted with a person again and again under different circumstances that might allow them to see beyond the polished/raw veneer.
It might be true that a good-looking man or woman has more admirers, some even from early in life. It is especially true for a woman, for it gets people to notice her. Perhaps it has to do with how civilisation has for centuries celebrated the beauty of the female form and appearance (they did do that with the male form, though it was more on the beauty of a prepubscent or teenaged boy). All the better if she has both beauty and brains, and knows how to work these to her advantage. If she has strong personal values and/or is well brought up, she will not allow all the attention to go into her head. She has to not allow her beauty to stop her from achieving her dreams of success based on pure ability, rather than take the easy way out by merely capitalising on her looks. While many people feel that a beauty with brains has it going for her in the world (and there is no denying she does), it takes a strong character, a character with depth, to remain focus on her ambitions, especially if the ambition has nothing to do with how she looks.
How does it fare then for the less attractive counterpart, and I mean physical attractiveness. She might have strong inner beauty, intelligence and talents, and a great personality, but might not attract as many admirers at first glance. However, unlike the admirers of a natural beauty, the admirers of the less naturally physically beautiful woman are more likely to be admirable creatures, one who can appreciate the person of substance, one who is likely to be more interesting and more worthy of the strong bonds of friendship. I do not include here admirers who have reached the penultimate of desperation and hence would go for any woman that comes his way. These are not true admirers, but one who fashions his admiration based on personal calculations.
The world is one of superficialities, and a person less attractively made are bound to be faced with frustrations, and perhaps insults by less sensitive creature. She might be made to feel that she is too fat, too spotty, too flat, too ugly, too everything. Yet, to be able to rise above that shows a person of pure strength. I admit to that I have my own biases, that I too, like everyone else, gets drawn to beauty. Many people have what I would call the "ugly thermometer", where they would assign a threshold to how much physical unattractiveness they will accept in a potential partner. It does take a special person to look beyond physical deformities to appreciate the person within. And this is hard to do, and I am embarass to say that I too have such prejudices many a times, unthinkingly. But let no one despair, for such a thermometer is subjective from person to person. However, it is unfortunate that there lies no instrument to measure inner beauty.
Therefore, great is the man who can appreciate the woman for all that she is worth, and to know when he has landed himself a treasure far above rubies, and to show her his appreciation in ways that would move her. And the same goes for the woman who can appreciate the man beyond his stature, his brains, his financial successes and looks. While looks might be less important to a woman up to a certain degree, they too are guilty of making judgemental measurements of their partners.
The same goes for men and women who are attracted to the members of their sex, though there might be slight differences in terms of preference and attraction. Bear in mind that I am talking about two ends of the spectrum, one who is acknowledged (almost universally) to be beautiful and one who is known to be not so. I have yet to talk about the average looking person, and those whose looks might be more subjectively defined.
