Sometimes, when we put ourselves in the hands of others, we either experience tender mercies or brutal assaults. Perhaps this is related in some ways to the human capacity for mercy and cruelty, both sides of the same coin (a cliche nonetheless).
When women, who are often typecasted as emotional, hysterical, and insane, fall prey to the straitjacketing of institutions and society bound on forcing them into unmitigating docility, they become easy targets for abuse and maltreatment, just because they have been labelled as unstable or unreliable, hence their voices ignored.
Below is a link to website on how women who seek or are forced into psychiatric treatment have been abused and patronized. You have hear of a various famous women creative types who finally descended into the final abyss of mental darkness, thrust into that role by societal's iron fists. Freud, the pioner of psychoanalysts, could not understand why his female patients complained of sexual abuse, had labelled them as hysterics, thus turning back the clock on psychology.
Here is an account of legendary, beautiful and volatile movie star, Frances Farmer. I am sure the world over would have similar stories to share.
http://www.cchr.org/art/eng/page34.htm
The setting up of institutions to hide away society's unpresentable and outcast, and treating them as less than savages highlights our fear of what Kristeva will call the abject. Frances's case became well known because of her fame and beauty. But what if similar circumstances happened to an uknown person? Women, in the words of the philosopher-semiotician, are abject beings, as are all associated with them.
Tennessee Williams have vowed a dark and horrific vengeance on Blanche in The Streetcar Named Desire when he had her institutionalised for insanity, after being raped by her brother-in-law.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
pertinence of cultural studies
Here is something that might be of interest to some of you. It is about cultural studies at a crossroad, and I paste a quote here that is pertinent to as many fields as it is to cultural studies
"But there is another question regarding the "where" of cultural studies. Where might it be found? That is, in one sense, a where (what) is our object of study, our project, that which we want to elucidate or engage and, secondly, where might we find cultural studies being done (and maybe a third question of when ). On what terrain or plateau might we look?ot dig? From many accounts the "where" is a bit of a worn out place. Someplace we've certainly been before and someplace from which bombs have been lofted our direction for years. It's the economy stupid. In this conjuncture junction, where the function is to hook up logics, and peoples, and products, and politics, we're not clear how it is that this time, via an understanding of the new conjuncture, cultural studies will be able to make a difference in a way that it hasn't in the past."
http://info.interactivist.net/print.pl?sid=04/10/02/2021233
Could it be that we are now suffering from the overlapping of fields? Many new-fangled undergraduate and posgraduate courses that have sprung up from the growth of various new fields has led me to think of Hannah Arendt's essays on "Crisis in Education" and "Crisis in Culture" found in her book "Between the past and future", how we often miss the woods for the trees. More on those two later as I will need to revisit them before I can comment further. (:
"But there is another question regarding the "where" of cultural studies. Where might it be found? That is, in one sense, a where (what) is our object of study, our project, that which we want to elucidate or engage and, secondly, where might we find cultural studies being done (and maybe a third question of when ). On what terrain or plateau might we look?ot dig? From many accounts the "where" is a bit of a worn out place. Someplace we've certainly been before and someplace from which bombs have been lofted our direction for years. It's the economy stupid. In this conjuncture junction, where the function is to hook up logics, and peoples, and products, and politics, we're not clear how it is that this time, via an understanding of the new conjuncture, cultural studies will be able to make a difference in a way that it hasn't in the past."
http://info.interactivist.net/print.pl?sid=04/10/02/2021233
Could it be that we are now suffering from the overlapping of fields? Many new-fangled undergraduate and posgraduate courses that have sprung up from the growth of various new fields has led me to think of Hannah Arendt's essays on "Crisis in Education" and "Crisis in Culture" found in her book "Between the past and future", how we often miss the woods for the trees. More on those two later as I will need to revisit them before I can comment further. (:
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
As I look back...
Dear readers,
I am now a year older. Much has happened, some for the worse some for the better. Each and every experience that comes knocking at my door, and turning my life upside down, have a sweet and bitter aftertastes. I learn to see myself and to know myself better, to question everything that I have let slide or take for granted. Sometimes I bemoan the dullness of my life, yet when excitement comes, I collapse too easily in exhaustion. A bottle of contradiction, I am.
On a different note, I have updated this page with more links from friends (you can check it under Links of Interest, and have decided to link a published poem of mine. Yes, I am pathetic. Only have one measly piece published. I haven't have time to think and write creatively, though I have notes and jottings here and there that could be turned into poetry, given time. I am still new, and a rather unpolished writer. There is too much that I still need to learn and I will need to apprentice myself to a great poet/writer, as what other great poets/writers have done (though I am not considering myself great). While I am sometimes too tired to write, I can't give it up, as it is my life, part of what constitutes me. To not write, is to be crippled. I have a number of unpublished drafts that I will be working on as and when time permits. I have even tried writing in Malay, and I will continue to do so.
This is a busy week, so I shall stop here. Feel free to drop me words of inspiration. (:
Love,
Clarissa.
I am now a year older. Much has happened, some for the worse some for the better. Each and every experience that comes knocking at my door, and turning my life upside down, have a sweet and bitter aftertastes. I learn to see myself and to know myself better, to question everything that I have let slide or take for granted. Sometimes I bemoan the dullness of my life, yet when excitement comes, I collapse too easily in exhaustion. A bottle of contradiction, I am.
On a different note, I have updated this page with more links from friends (you can check it under Links of Interest, and have decided to link a published poem of mine. Yes, I am pathetic. Only have one measly piece published. I haven't have time to think and write creatively, though I have notes and jottings here and there that could be turned into poetry, given time. I am still new, and a rather unpolished writer. There is too much that I still need to learn and I will need to apprentice myself to a great poet/writer, as what other great poets/writers have done (though I am not considering myself great). While I am sometimes too tired to write, I can't give it up, as it is my life, part of what constitutes me. To not write, is to be crippled. I have a number of unpublished drafts that I will be working on as and when time permits. I have even tried writing in Malay, and I will continue to do so.
This is a busy week, so I shall stop here. Feel free to drop me words of inspiration. (:
Love,
Clarissa.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
pr0n
Here is an article on the amount of smut in cyberspace
http://www.sociology.org/content/vol003.001/boeringer.html
http://www.sociology.org/content/vol003.001/boeringer.html
Monday, September 20, 2004
Gimme your rubbish and the horror genre
Heh, saw this on Guardian today. If you ask me, it seems as if the recycling industry is either overloaded, understaffed or not properly managed. Can one make a living just recycling stuff?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,12188,1308278,00.html
Some of you out there might have read series of thrillers, horrors and gothic stories. It wouldn't be very different if I just take a story written since the eighteenth century and transplant that to modern day news on crimes. Better still if they could be serialized in tabloids. Coming to think of it, they USED to be serialised in tabloids. (:
I am so addicted to Dvorak's Symphony in E Minor for some reason. Must be the mood thing again.
Here is an interesting bit in Guardian again about ten year olds in Britain. They aren't too different from the kids in Malaysia, if thou were to read kiddies and teenaged (under 15) weblogs. :D
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1299466,00.html
I am not that old, but I feel ancient whenever I say that kids have greater access these days, for better or worse. I can't decide as to when I think is the best time to be born, as one can only look to the past, but can't predict the future.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,12188,1308278,00.html
Some of you out there might have read series of thrillers, horrors and gothic stories. It wouldn't be very different if I just take a story written since the eighteenth century and transplant that to modern day news on crimes. Better still if they could be serialized in tabloids. Coming to think of it, they USED to be serialised in tabloids. (:
I am so addicted to Dvorak's Symphony in E Minor for some reason. Must be the mood thing again.
Here is an interesting bit in Guardian again about ten year olds in Britain. They aren't too different from the kids in Malaysia, if thou were to read kiddies and teenaged (under 15) weblogs. :D
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1299466,00.html
I am not that old, but I feel ancient whenever I say that kids have greater access these days, for better or worse. I can't decide as to when I think is the best time to be born, as one can only look to the past, but can't predict the future.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Rape is Rape
To all those still new to the idea of gender relations, to sex and violence, marriage, etc, you will do well to read this http://www3.malaysiakini.com/letters/30115 .
I find it reprehensible that a few pea brains and rotten apples among the Malaysian men are giving Malaysian men in general a bad name for being backwards and chauvinists. And I find it idiotic that there are some who condescend to argue every dot and commas in this idea of marital rape instead of looking at the bigger picture, and finding profitable solutions.
To all the women who are reading this. Do not be afraid to walk it alone if you have to. I am sure you have friends and family members who could lend support of some sort. Leave crap behind and flush it down the toilet where it is due. Unfortunately, never in our training have we ever been taught how to make good choices, and learn to face up to the responsibilities of our actions. We have not been taught how to relate to people, even as we score As in our academic subjects in schools. Hence, it is pretty normal to see a super-achieving woman going out with a complete loser who beats the brains out of her. So if the educated among us are willing to suffer shit, how are you going to get those from more inimical backgrounds to fight for change. As women with choices, we are duty bound to make good ones and set the examples for our less fortunate sisters.
So apt that I am reading about the abject this Sunday afternoon. :D
Cheers all
I find it reprehensible that a few pea brains and rotten apples among the Malaysian men are giving Malaysian men in general a bad name for being backwards and chauvinists. And I find it idiotic that there are some who condescend to argue every dot and commas in this idea of marital rape instead of looking at the bigger picture, and finding profitable solutions.
To all the women who are reading this. Do not be afraid to walk it alone if you have to. I am sure you have friends and family members who could lend support of some sort. Leave crap behind and flush it down the toilet where it is due. Unfortunately, never in our training have we ever been taught how to make good choices, and learn to face up to the responsibilities of our actions. We have not been taught how to relate to people, even as we score As in our academic subjects in schools. Hence, it is pretty normal to see a super-achieving woman going out with a complete loser who beats the brains out of her. So if the educated among us are willing to suffer shit, how are you going to get those from more inimical backgrounds to fight for change. As women with choices, we are duty bound to make good ones and set the examples for our less fortunate sisters.
So apt that I am reading about the abject this Sunday afternoon. :D
Cheers all
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Saturday, September 11, 2004
economics of recycling
Out of a guilty conscience, I have taken into the habit of trying to recycle as many things as I can. That interest took a dive for awhile, and something in my mind just forced me to look into my wasteful habits. One example. I packed food into my room today, with polystyrene packaging. I had to throw one pack away because it was too oily and also because I accidentally broke it, though I kept one to put my other foodstuff in. Guilt rides high prior to that and I googled this out
http://www.polystyrene.org/environment/econ.html
so, how well does recycling help in saving the environment (and in assuaging our guilt conscience)? We need all our chemist, environmental technologists and environmental economists to help us out!
I am hungry still so going to have some crackers.
http://www.polystyrene.org/environment/econ.html
so, how well does recycling help in saving the environment (and in assuaging our guilt conscience)? We need all our chemist, environmental technologists and environmental economists to help us out!
I am hungry still so going to have some crackers.
Letter to the world
The line breaks differ from the original piece I sent it, and some sentences have been edited out. Nevertheless, my voice punctuates it. Some parts of the argument seem hollow and could had been better explicated. But as it was getting late and since this is just a letter, I thought I would leave it at that, since I don't want to risk it getting longer than it already is, or revise the entire thing. (:
Here it is
http://www3.malaysiakini.com/letters/29914
Good night for today.
Here it is
http://www3.malaysiakini.com/letters/29914
Good night for today.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Get past me
Spent the weekend either talking to friends or reading. I actually managed to read 2 essays of Hannah Arendt, 5 essays of Rosseau, looked through a book my friend wrote, browsed through another for possible review, read 2 books of Aristotle's Physics and actually begun reading a book on conservative Christian theology. I even caught a play (a bit marred by an audience with a fixation of the scatological-perhaps a sign of the repressed?). I did everything except.....work on my dissertation...uh oh. Oh well, I promise to spend today (though I would attend a party in the evening) and tomorrow (a National Day public holiday, not celebrating so would most probably be at home) working on my dissertation. Somehow, I don't feel all that patriotic, knowing that the day that we are celebrating is just another long list of nationalist propaganda and revised historiography.
Looking at this left me with bad taste in my mouth (and mind) . These girls are either so clueless that they have no idea that they are a fodder for burlesque and carnivalesque camp, or they are just desperate enough to do anything for a few seconds of fame and money (if they win). So much for ERA. It seems that a number of them come from the Bible belt part of the USA (go figure. I wonder what would Iran think of their women start taking part in competitions like these). It seems that Stuff has now come to Malaysia. Why is it that only magazines like these ever come to Malaysia? Is it because they think that Malaysians love magazines like these? Or that they have money to branch out to a small country like Malaysia? Or that they are desperate to increase their sale? With so many gadget, sex and lifestyle magazine around, I wonder how would they survive? Or do men never tire of cheap titillation?
Anyway, for something inspiring, I found this blog when looking in my email.
To all Malaysians, enjoy your public holiday. Remember to make it a meaningful one.
To the rest who might not have a holiday, well you will get your turn. (:
Looking at this left me with bad taste in my mouth (and mind) . These girls are either so clueless that they have no idea that they are a fodder for burlesque and carnivalesque camp, or they are just desperate enough to do anything for a few seconds of fame and money (if they win). So much for ERA. It seems that a number of them come from the Bible belt part of the USA (go figure. I wonder what would Iran think of their women start taking part in competitions like these). It seems that Stuff has now come to Malaysia. Why is it that only magazines like these ever come to Malaysia? Is it because they think that Malaysians love magazines like these? Or that they have money to branch out to a small country like Malaysia? Or that they are desperate to increase their sale? With so many gadget, sex and lifestyle magazine around, I wonder how would they survive? Or do men never tire of cheap titillation?
Anyway, for something inspiring, I found this blog when looking in my email.
To all Malaysians, enjoy your public holiday. Remember to make it a meaningful one.
To the rest who might not have a holiday, well you will get your turn. (:
Christian Education
Having all these debates and things going on, as shown by the links below, really makes one rethink the aim of education. As a start, I will post some links on religious education in the US, which usually means bible colleges and Christian centric home-schooling. You will find it interesting to note that there is no unanimous voice in how it should be done, but that it should be done.
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0421-09.htm
http://www.google.com.my/search?q=cache:688CqK4CKNsJ:www.pepperdine.edu/provost/Library/Benne-Athens%2520and%2520Jerusalem.pdf+engagement+between+bible+colleges+and+secular+education&hl=en
http://www.homeschooldigest.com/ERodd.htm
It is late and I am tired so I will discourse more another day. Goodnight.
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0421-09.htm
http://www.google.com.my/search?q=cache:688CqK4CKNsJ:www.pepperdine.edu/provost/Library/Benne-Athens%2520and%2520Jerusalem.pdf+engagement+between+bible+colleges+and+secular+education&hl=en
http://www.homeschooldigest.com/ERodd.htm
It is late and I am tired so I will discourse more another day. Goodnight.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
The right to Protest?
I wonder what would happen if someone protests at the UMNO General Assembly. Definitely would not be a pretty picture.
http://www.rncprotestrights.org/rights-bust.html
http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/kamenetz/
http://www.rncprotestrights.org/rights-bust.html
http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/kamenetz/
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Ealy morning blog
I thought that it would be good, for a change, to start my morning, from home, by making a blog entry.
The good news is, all the journals to whom I have submitted my academic writing have acknowledged receipt of my articles (which is a far cry from what used to be two years ago). I had to resend a number of the articles after not haven't heard back from some of the publications I sent to (despite having received the acknowledgement 2 years to 8 months ago) even after emailing them and giving them a wide space of time to reply. At least one of the other articles were rejected on first attempt and had been revised further (problem with my style, apparently. Damn, I need to learn how to write academic papers properly) so I am sending it in again. There is another article which I have decided to send to a literary as opposed to a scholarly journal, as I felt that it is more of a critical essay than a scholarlyly one (despite having written it for class).
Anyway, if any gets rejected, I think I will just post it on my website as sample of my student work (heh) and to share with you guys, in case any readers here ever have to research any of the topics. At least 2 of my essays are now on two different literary websites and from what I gather, widely read (or at least looked at). I am always glad to know that there are people out there who are interested in my work.
The end of summer is approaching, so that would mean that all those erstwhile academics who have put me on hold while they jetset around the world would finally respond to me. I sometimes wish I have more time and money to do that (not that I haven't been doing that, just that I aint doing that as often as I wish). My travelling here and there explains why I have little savings, that despite working 3 jobs at one point :P. Ok, only one of it paid well (that being my regular job, the others are just freelance).
I finally got my copy of Paris Review, after having to wait for customs to approve it. It is one thick, paperbound, quarto size pack, with loads of poems! And of course some critical essays. I am keeping that at work so that I could read a bit a day. I was supposed to be doing some work yesterday (when I got back after dinner) but as I was down with a bad cold but with no inclination to sleep yet, I decided to look at some blogs and newspaper articles at random. I am not yet back to my old self, but am feeling much better this morning than yesterday night, when I had dinner with a friend and his friends. They are an interesting bunch, except that I wasn't feeling perky.
Anyway, while looking around for websites on modernism, I came across this site that I would like to log here for my own reference and for you to click on :P
Cheers!
The good news is, all the journals to whom I have submitted my academic writing have acknowledged receipt of my articles (which is a far cry from what used to be two years ago). I had to resend a number of the articles after not haven't heard back from some of the publications I sent to (despite having received the acknowledgement 2 years to 8 months ago) even after emailing them and giving them a wide space of time to reply. At least one of the other articles were rejected on first attempt and had been revised further (problem with my style, apparently. Damn, I need to learn how to write academic papers properly) so I am sending it in again. There is another article which I have decided to send to a literary as opposed to a scholarly journal, as I felt that it is more of a critical essay than a scholarlyly one (despite having written it for class).
Anyway, if any gets rejected, I think I will just post it on my website as sample of my student work (heh) and to share with you guys, in case any readers here ever have to research any of the topics. At least 2 of my essays are now on two different literary websites and from what I gather, widely read (or at least looked at). I am always glad to know that there are people out there who are interested in my work.
The end of summer is approaching, so that would mean that all those erstwhile academics who have put me on hold while they jetset around the world would finally respond to me. I sometimes wish I have more time and money to do that (not that I haven't been doing that, just that I aint doing that as often as I wish). My travelling here and there explains why I have little savings, that despite working 3 jobs at one point :P. Ok, only one of it paid well (that being my regular job, the others are just freelance).
I finally got my copy of Paris Review, after having to wait for customs to approve it. It is one thick, paperbound, quarto size pack, with loads of poems! And of course some critical essays. I am keeping that at work so that I could read a bit a day. I was supposed to be doing some work yesterday (when I got back after dinner) but as I was down with a bad cold but with no inclination to sleep yet, I decided to look at some blogs and newspaper articles at random. I am not yet back to my old self, but am feeling much better this morning than yesterday night, when I had dinner with a friend and his friends. They are an interesting bunch, except that I wasn't feeling perky.
Anyway, while looking around for websites on modernism, I came across this site that I would like to log here for my own reference and for you to click on :P
Cheers!
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
psychosis
Working on Plath can sometimes push me into a state of melancholia.
Here is an article that might be of interest to you guys. It is on Evolutionary Psychology .
I am now looking around for more works and articles that have ever been written on Plath. If anyone of you out there reading this knows someone who is or is a Plath scholar, please email me. I would like to pow-wow with you. (:
Here is an article that might be of interest to you guys. It is on Evolutionary Psychology .
I am now looking around for more works and articles that have ever been written on Plath. If anyone of you out there reading this knows someone who is or is a Plath scholar, please email me. I would like to pow-wow with you. (:
Monday, August 23, 2004
Health conscious
I have been particularly health conscious, going for health checks for every little sign and symptom that might be a probable diagnosis to a disease. Such meticulous attention has less to do with hypochondria but more to do with the awareness that I am not getting any younger and the world at large is getting unhealthy, due to unnatural and natural courses (from the frenetic modern day lifestyle to mutations of viruses). Hence, when I pricked myself with a needle while sewing yesterday, I decided to go see the doctor and get vaccination againt possible Tetanus. Sure enough, the doctor gave me a dose of the adsorbed tetanus toxoid. For those of you who are not in the know (I wasn't until yesterday), there was a shortage of vaccines due to the discontinuation of its production by one of the pharmacological companies. However, the problem of supply has been resolved, and those who have not had an anti-tetanus injection in years might want to think about getting a booster shot. Find out more about the drugs at
http://www.ashp.org/shortage/tetanus-update.cfm
To look at research done on the impact of postvaccination antibody anti tetanus response, you can go to this article online at
http://iai.asm.org/cgi/content/full/67/11/5951
Going for regular medical examination (at least once a year) is good for your soul. At least it serves as warnings and reminders when you misbehave.
http://www.ashp.org/shortage/tetanus-update.cfm
To look at research done on the impact of postvaccination antibody anti tetanus response, you can go to this article online at
http://iai.asm.org/cgi/content/full/67/11/5951
Going for regular medical examination (at least once a year) is good for your soul. At least it serves as warnings and reminders when you misbehave.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Religion and politics
When religion and politics are merged, does it mean that the underclass(the non-patricians) will suffer from over-zealous, bigoted, narrow minds who think that they have been called to decide what is good or bad for them?
Check it here
Girl got executed for "Sharp Tongue"
To the women:Sleep with the Mullah if you want your rights
I used to naively think that religion can make you a better person. Yeah right. It just allows the unpopular, short, and ugly kid fo exact his or her revenge, in the name of God/Allah/Yah-Weh.
I supposed the reason the People of the Book get so much bad press is because there are more of us to screw around with the other people (both of the Book and not of the Book).
Check it here
Girl got executed for "Sharp Tongue"
To the women:Sleep with the Mullah if you want your rights
I used to naively think that religion can make you a better person. Yeah right. It just allows the unpopular, short, and ugly kid fo exact his or her revenge, in the name of God/Allah/Yah-Weh.
I supposed the reason the People of the Book get so much bad press is because there are more of us to screw around with the other people (both of the Book and not of the Book).
Friday, August 20, 2004
Friday Night in August
Here am I, sitting before a computer on a night when Sylvia Plath would be looking for dates (if she wasn't staying in like me). Yes, I am obssessed with the subject of my study. But it is a healthy obssession, and hopefully would give birth to a new book.
I often wonder, and still do, why do I do what I do. Why do I sit in a table, with three other people that I barely know, and watch them talk, and hear their uncomfortable silences, as they try to make conversation with each other, under my unmoving gaze. Perhaps it is to derive comfort in the company of strangers? Or to discover a different world that I have never inhabited. Why do I crack my head so hard, working on a book (which will begin life as a dissertation), when I could just hav fulfilled minimal requirements and get my Degree. But then, is that the reason why I embarked on that course of study? What is the use of a paper qualification in Literature if one does not have an enriching experience to accompany it?
I would like to share an article by feminist, Katha Politt, that I have googled up. I first read her when one of her opinion essays was published in New Yorker, talking about how she would webstalk her ex-lover by googling and searching online for what tenuous connection there was to him. Strange for a feminist to do that, you say? Well, feminist or no feminist, sometimes the heart and emotions get the better of us. I have been guilty of googling up people, from former lovers to former lovers of lovers. Friends and acquaintances have also been web-checked (or webstalked) by me. So, what can I say ? :P
I have bought another New Yorker (Aug 2 issues, they come late over here in Malaysia) and a collection of short stories by Italo Calvino. It seems that I would forgo all the girly stuff, namely clothes, shoes, bags and make-up just to save up money for books and more books. I wouldn't even buy anything beyond the printed material when I travel abroad to Europe, though I make the exceptions when I go to places like Thailand and Indonesia. As a colleague says, my sense of fashion is often disastrous (due to the fact that I don't really have enough clothes to match for all 5 days of work and so I end up with mismatched items. I tend to have more casuals (Read T-Shirts, pants and shorts) than work or party wear (which can be counted with my toes and fingers, though they look like more when I mix and match with more casual shifts). I only have one unbroken bag (bought at some cheap sale in my hometown up north), 6 pairs of shoes (including two pairs of heels, one an old fashion black strappy pair I got from a sale in London) and a pair of sandals. I do like manicures and pedicures ( I treat myself to them once a month or once in two months, and not always doing both simultaneously), hair treatments for problematic hair and scalp(which I now decide to do myself to save) and even facials when my skin looks stressed up (and this is because I actually have a full-time job for a change). I guess I can save myself from having to do the latter two if I just bloody move out of the city, which is what I would do, once my current contract ends (I need to save money then). It is the cause of my skin and hair problems, and the fact that I live in a hole without a kitchen precludes me from ever being able to cook, hence creating dietary problems as well.
I suppose I should stop here instead of boring you with the more frivolous aspects of my life. Back to New Yorker...
I often wonder, and still do, why do I do what I do. Why do I sit in a table, with three other people that I barely know, and watch them talk, and hear their uncomfortable silences, as they try to make conversation with each other, under my unmoving gaze. Perhaps it is to derive comfort in the company of strangers? Or to discover a different world that I have never inhabited. Why do I crack my head so hard, working on a book (which will begin life as a dissertation), when I could just hav fulfilled minimal requirements and get my Degree. But then, is that the reason why I embarked on that course of study? What is the use of a paper qualification in Literature if one does not have an enriching experience to accompany it?
I would like to share an article by feminist, Katha Politt, that I have googled up. I first read her when one of her opinion essays was published in New Yorker, talking about how she would webstalk her ex-lover by googling and searching online for what tenuous connection there was to him. Strange for a feminist to do that, you say? Well, feminist or no feminist, sometimes the heart and emotions get the better of us. I have been guilty of googling up people, from former lovers to former lovers of lovers. Friends and acquaintances have also been web-checked (or webstalked) by me. So, what can I say ? :P
I have bought another New Yorker (Aug 2 issues, they come late over here in Malaysia) and a collection of short stories by Italo Calvino. It seems that I would forgo all the girly stuff, namely clothes, shoes, bags and make-up just to save up money for books and more books. I wouldn't even buy anything beyond the printed material when I travel abroad to Europe, though I make the exceptions when I go to places like Thailand and Indonesia. As a colleague says, my sense of fashion is often disastrous (due to the fact that I don't really have enough clothes to match for all 5 days of work and so I end up with mismatched items. I tend to have more casuals (Read T-Shirts, pants and shorts) than work or party wear (which can be counted with my toes and fingers, though they look like more when I mix and match with more casual shifts). I only have one unbroken bag (bought at some cheap sale in my hometown up north), 6 pairs of shoes (including two pairs of heels, one an old fashion black strappy pair I got from a sale in London) and a pair of sandals. I do like manicures and pedicures ( I treat myself to them once a month or once in two months, and not always doing both simultaneously), hair treatments for problematic hair and scalp(which I now decide to do myself to save) and even facials when my skin looks stressed up (and this is because I actually have a full-time job for a change). I guess I can save myself from having to do the latter two if I just bloody move out of the city, which is what I would do, once my current contract ends (I need to save money then). It is the cause of my skin and hair problems, and the fact that I live in a hole without a kitchen precludes me from ever being able to cook, hence creating dietary problems as well.
I suppose I should stop here instead of boring you with the more frivolous aspects of my life. Back to New Yorker...
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Some technology links
I don't have a lot to say at this point, except that many of the people I know and friends will be flying abroad to further their studies between this month and next. I wish them well and I will miss seeing them around here. I look forward to the day when I could also spread my wings and fly.
On a different note, I would like to share some interesting tehcnologically-related links that I have found via emails and from my compulsive surfing habits.
DNA Programming - Will this trump Moore's Law which says that the number of transistors in the integrated circuits will double annually.
Handheld viruses
http://www.informit.com/articles/printerfriendly.asp?p=327990
http://www.informit.com/articles/article.asp?p=327994
Currently reading the Communist Manifesto and will be reading Julie Kristeva.
On a different note, I would like to share some interesting tehcnologically-related links that I have found via emails and from my compulsive surfing habits.
DNA Programming - Will this trump Moore's Law which says that the number of transistors in the integrated circuits will double annually.
Handheld viruses
http://www.informit.com/articles/printerfriendly.asp?p=327990
http://www.informit.com/articles/article.asp?p=327994
Currently reading the Communist Manifesto and will be reading Julie Kristeva.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Another week has passed
The reason why I haven't been posting for the whole of last week was because I had to mediate between preparing and attending a big conference in Malaysia for three days, and getting chores done, which includes clearing up my room. After a day long event which includes getting up at 6:15-6:30 every morning to travel 60 km down south and back, I am usually too tired to attempt anything useful. The process of sorting out my room included recycling paper, recycling bottles, and recycling some last year's issues of Malaysia's Edition of Marie Claire. I profess to reading women's magazines (well, usually only Marie Claire) to gauge the current conditions of popular culture in this country. While it titillates the eyes with its visuals, its featured products and stories both corny and serious, it is a good way to find out about current trends and the effects of magazine reading. While I would like to stave away every magazine I have for research purpose in the near future, I know that it would take up space, that despite the fact that I have not bought a lifestyle magazine in months (excepting free copies of a men's magazines that I used to get as a writer for them). Hence, I gave at least three copies away and would bring the rest back to my hometown for storage.
Btw, people, when you ever throw anything into recycling of donation bins, please read the labels on top. In one donation bin somewhere in the south of Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia, a number of people have thrown in old shoes where they are supposed to be throwing in reading materials. Plus a moron or two who threw in their rubbish. Blooming idiots.
Btw, if you are interested to know what conference I have been attending the past week, you can check it out here. Much work is needed to refine and revise the paper that I have presented. I think they will post the papers online later.
I would like to report that my dissertation research is making progress. Now, if only there are more hours in a day.
Btw, people, when you ever throw anything into recycling of donation bins, please read the labels on top. In one donation bin somewhere in the south of Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia, a number of people have thrown in old shoes where they are supposed to be throwing in reading materials. Plus a moron or two who threw in their rubbish. Blooming idiots.
Btw, if you are interested to know what conference I have been attending the past week, you can check it out here. Much work is needed to refine and revise the paper that I have presented. I think they will post the papers online later.
I would like to report that my dissertation research is making progress. Now, if only there are more hours in a day.
Friday, July 30, 2004
The week is coming to an end. It has been productive, despite the occasional hiccups here and there. I am proud to announce that my dissertation project is finally underway, and I had shortlisted areas which I would be working on. Now, I just need to get my preliminary report out and chart the framework of my chapters.
I need to prepare myself to moderate for a seminar tomorrow. Drats, that means no late night for me today. And to think that it is Friday ):
Going for a friend's housewarming this Sunday. That promises to be loads of fun. We might even be catching Michael Moore's latest film.
Life is looking up for me as I managed to pull myself out from the rut of never ever starting on my thesis. I need to get it done as soon as I can so that I could get on with life before I become too old.
Maybe I will blog more this coming weekend, if I have anything else to say...
I need to prepare myself to moderate for a seminar tomorrow. Drats, that means no late night for me today. And to think that it is Friday ):
Going for a friend's housewarming this Sunday. That promises to be loads of fun. We might even be catching Michael Moore's latest film.
Life is looking up for me as I managed to pull myself out from the rut of never ever starting on my thesis. I need to get it done as soon as I can so that I could get on with life before I become too old.
Maybe I will blog more this coming weekend, if I have anything else to say...
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