I should have blogged about this earlier but events that happened soon after wedged it momentarily out of my mind. It was about May 13, 1969. Few weeks ago, I was having dinner with some family members, including a grandaunt. Taking that opportunity, I askd her about what she knew about May 13 1969. She told me that there was much conspiracy theory surrounding it. But it was all about politics, nevertheless. Politics of people vying for power and will stop at nothing in order to do it, even if it means settting their own country backwards by 50 to 100 years.
Why did I bring this up? Well, it was in relation to the latest UMNO General Assembly, where the power-play of brown-skinned hegemony is again the trump card. I am not trying to be racist here. I am as brown as the next person in my country. We just come in different shades. It so happen that there is a particular sub-sub-sub group within the various brownies in Malaysia who want to bring the country back to a past where they reign supreme. Even if it means screwing their own brethren. When they speak in a language that is a mere euphemism for Malay supremacy and their stake in this country, they are not speaking for the Malay community. They are speaking for themselves, their personal supremacy.
Read this inteview with John Perkins, the author of "Confessions of an Economic Hitman". I might even go out and buy the book. Crass materialism is the fuel that powers the need for an economic crutch. They want the money but do not want to use their brains to get it. They will come up with rules and goal posts that shifts as long as it serves them while making themselves look righteous. Perhaps, there isn't a great deal of different between the American neo-imperialist rhetoric (or of those in opposition) to the attitudes of even the Liliputians (of which Malaysia's power-hungry group should wear a badge of honour).
On a different note, we need to do a transparency check on people from both sides of the divide, the 'bleeding-heart' leftists and the 'greedy' rightist (I think nobody ever it in this context, no?). This is an interesting post on charity scams, written from an individual's point of view.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
A haphazhard weekend
Two things happened over the course of two days.
On Friday, I attended a friend's farewell as she will be leaving for Down Under in a few days time. Despite the incessant rain and a kind of traffic that could put a damper on anyone's mood, it was nice to speak to her and a few people (though the number of people there made it impossible to have a proper conversation with anyone one person at a time, plus I had to rush off not long after to do an emergency errand). I hope that when slower days are here, I will be able to take my time about things instead of rushing here and there.
Speaking of rushing, I spent the first part of the day yesterday working on my dissertation Chap 3. I am reading Plath's letters (I have yet to finish them as she is such a prolific letter writer). I realise that I will not finish at least 40% of them by the time I complete my dissertation. It is difficult seeing that I still have a full-time job to go to until at least next month. I have until the end of the month to see how things will turn out for me in a month or two to come.
In the evening, I did as quick a grooming as I can but was still late for my dear friends' wedding. It is surreal to have a friend travel halfway across the world to his bride's home country and still have a remarkably big wedding. Not grand by Malaysian standards but grand enough seeing the limited time there is to prepare for it. If it had been me, I would have just hired a wedding planner and let him or her do all the dirty work for me. My hats off to these two great people and I pray that their lives together will be wonderful, and I hope to visit them in the country they have decided to make their home, at least for now.
Dance rehearsals are going on fine. We are pacing ourselves well. Many might not know that I am into a particular dance form since I hardly blog about the more personal aspect of my life except when it has already become public. (: I will publicise more about it the next month so for those of you reading this, come back in by the second week of August to check. I am not performing anything humungous since I am a relative beginner and already have a schedule that is rather tight. I do WANT to have a breather between things. Unlike many of my other super-duper friends, I do not relish a very hectic lifestyle. Been there and done that in my younger years. No wish to repeat it except when absolutely necessary.
Cheers all!
On Friday, I attended a friend's farewell as she will be leaving for Down Under in a few days time. Despite the incessant rain and a kind of traffic that could put a damper on anyone's mood, it was nice to speak to her and a few people (though the number of people there made it impossible to have a proper conversation with anyone one person at a time, plus I had to rush off not long after to do an emergency errand). I hope that when slower days are here, I will be able to take my time about things instead of rushing here and there.
Speaking of rushing, I spent the first part of the day yesterday working on my dissertation Chap 3. I am reading Plath's letters (I have yet to finish them as she is such a prolific letter writer). I realise that I will not finish at least 40% of them by the time I complete my dissertation. It is difficult seeing that I still have a full-time job to go to until at least next month. I have until the end of the month to see how things will turn out for me in a month or two to come.
In the evening, I did as quick a grooming as I can but was still late for my dear friends' wedding. It is surreal to have a friend travel halfway across the world to his bride's home country and still have a remarkably big wedding. Not grand by Malaysian standards but grand enough seeing the limited time there is to prepare for it. If it had been me, I would have just hired a wedding planner and let him or her do all the dirty work for me. My hats off to these two great people and I pray that their lives together will be wonderful, and I hope to visit them in the country they have decided to make their home, at least for now.
Dance rehearsals are going on fine. We are pacing ourselves well. Many might not know that I am into a particular dance form since I hardly blog about the more personal aspect of my life except when it has already become public. (: I will publicise more about it the next month so for those of you reading this, come back in by the second week of August to check. I am not performing anything humungous since I am a relative beginner and already have a schedule that is rather tight. I do WANT to have a breather between things. Unlike many of my other super-duper friends, I do not relish a very hectic lifestyle. Been there and done that in my younger years. No wish to repeat it except when absolutely necessary.
Cheers all!
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Muslim communities living at the edge
They have identified the young men involved with the bombings in London. We have hope that they might not be muslims again, but yet again, they have proven themselves dependable in this area. Sigh. Looks like interfaith dialogues are now going to go on in a midst of suspicion and mistrust. The fact that more young people are drawn to extremism (from neo-Nazism to extremist cults) in this age is really scary. Even many countries, including the one I am living in, it is the young ones we should start fearing, not the older folks who are already on their way out.
Guardian featured a section with photos and captions on the dead and missing from the bombings.
Here is an interesting article by Madeleine Bunting on the failure of multiculturalism in Britain. I am sure in weeks to come, there would be more articles on this.
AS it is, should one look at any academic fellowships in offer now, especially by the First world countries, they are HIGHLY interested in funding anyone involved in interfaith (which usually reads Islamic faith) and Islamic studies.
I for one got highly interested in Islam after 2001, though I have had my curiosities about the religion prior to that. But, I was never actively reading up on it until post 9/11. I'll blame it on the late Edward Said (poor guy be turning in his grave). (:
Guardian featured a section with photos and captions on the dead and missing from the bombings.
Here is an interesting article by Madeleine Bunting on the failure of multiculturalism in Britain. I am sure in weeks to come, there would be more articles on this.
AS it is, should one look at any academic fellowships in offer now, especially by the First world countries, they are HIGHLY interested in funding anyone involved in interfaith (which usually reads Islamic faith) and Islamic studies.
I for one got highly interested in Islam after 2001, though I have had my curiosities about the religion prior to that. But, I was never actively reading up on it until post 9/11. I'll blame it on the late Edward Said (poor guy be turning in his grave). (:
smoking us out -SOS
Travelling to work everyday, close to 30kms everyday (one way), to the south of Selangor, near the borders of Negeri Sembilan, acquaints me with the various vehicles that follow the same route. Sometimes, you will meet with the same motorcycles cars commuting between KL and Negeri Sembilan should you be travelling within the same hour.
One of the most disturbing sight for me up to now, would be old fashion lorries which are still using exremely hazardous gas inducing engines and pipes. Should you be unfortunate enough to travel behind a lorry in a two-wheeler, or three-wheeler, you will be choked by the amount of concentrated carbon monoxide and nitrous oxide produced, slowly poisoned and left to die a slow and painful death before old age. It is time that the country allows individuals to sue lorry companies that repeatedly refuse to update their lorries into engines that consume fuel more efficiently and give off less poisonous products to the hapless trees and biosphere it happens to inhabit.
We need to take action and bombard the Ministry of Entrepreneurial and Cooperation Development with our complains so that they will stop issuing permits to companies that steadfastly REFUSE to do anything about their poisonous moving trucks.
Can any enlighten reader point me to a website that contains the latest information on smoke emissions and its impact on the environment? I would like to write a letter to this Ministry and put forward my complaint. Is anyone doing it already?
Start today and take down all the LKPK numbers of lorries that you see emitting horrible amount of smoke and submit them to the LKPK complaints bureau. Website is give in the link above.
One of the most disturbing sight for me up to now, would be old fashion lorries which are still using exremely hazardous gas inducing engines and pipes. Should you be unfortunate enough to travel behind a lorry in a two-wheeler, or three-wheeler, you will be choked by the amount of concentrated carbon monoxide and nitrous oxide produced, slowly poisoned and left to die a slow and painful death before old age. It is time that the country allows individuals to sue lorry companies that repeatedly refuse to update their lorries into engines that consume fuel more efficiently and give off less poisonous products to the hapless trees and biosphere it happens to inhabit.
We need to take action and bombard the Ministry of Entrepreneurial and Cooperation Development with our complains so that they will stop issuing permits to companies that steadfastly REFUSE to do anything about their poisonous moving trucks.
Can any enlighten reader point me to a website that contains the latest information on smoke emissions and its impact on the environment? I would like to write a letter to this Ministry and put forward my complaint. Is anyone doing it already?
Start today and take down all the LKPK numbers of lorries that you see emitting horrible amount of smoke and submit them to the LKPK complaints bureau. Website is give in the link above.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
London bombings
I am sadden by this. Not because it is happening in a developed country, but by its premonition. Could it be that what has been written in the book of Revelations in the bible is about to pass?
More later...
More later...
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Reading to an audience at the Doppelganger open mic
It was a great feeling, though I was extremely nervous when I was called to come forward. That was not helped by a rather glowy introduction that forces the onus on me to perform well.
Thank the Lord that is was painless.
Amen
Thank the Lord that is was painless.
Amen
Sunday, July 03, 2005
G8 summit and the L8 concert
There is much excitement about two events that are going on tandem, the first being an extremely important one in world history and would be watched with bated breath by pundits and lay people alike (that is laypeople who are interested), and the second would be joined by those with or without much clue as to its aim. Even on the twenty-first century, we still find that the most powerful people in the world tend to be men. Many feminists argued that it has to do with the political and social structure, and the socialisation of the two different sexes. But I think it has to do with the fact that through history, there are very few women who could provide the sort of role models in the way that men have, and many an ambitious woman find it difficult to emulate the existing examples available to them without sacrificing too much of themselves. Perhaps the men who do are actually sacrificing that which the women are afraid to do?
Anyway, back to the L8 concert, which you can read all about in the major newspapers, most probably in the newspapers of the G8 countries, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, the UK and the US. Perhaps a few decades later, we will have more Asian countries (like China and India, but they have to revamp their infrastructural and social weaknessses) who will expand this to G(n) where n = positive integers. Some would argue that it is a a great way of enlisting popular culture to tap into the psyche of the people, hyping it up and making them excited enough to want to travel just to be part of it. Some felt that its glittering affair is a far cry from the abject lives of the Africans they are trying to portray (with the exception of African bandits who amassed their riches through plaguing their people). I hope that the G8 leaders,as many other critics have said, would address the political weakness of many of these African countries. Parts of Africa used to be part of some glorious civilization in the past, but that seems to have disappeared into history. They have the best people whom they can work with to look for better solutions.
And the problem of climate change and environment, I fervently hope that something can be done about it. But just looking to the leaders to act tough on it, while we complacently add to the climate problems is like the cliche pot calling the kettle black. There are many countries in Asia whose citizens are living abject lives, but perhaps no longer to the starvation extent of still so many Africans. I think it is important for the media, and for any public education propagandist, to actually show the REAL reason why African nations are left so far behind. Yet within their nations have produced world-class and world-famous artists, musicians, writers and even scientists, something which many South East Asian countries have yet to achieve.
Perhaps the best way to assess the current way the world works is to look at who are the powerful people who inhabit it. Are they paragon of our values?
I end this post by attaching this leader from Guardian which spells out much of these two events
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/leaders/story/0,6903,1520122,00.html. And whatever the G8 meet and L8 tries to do will be rendered pyrrhic if this continues without accountability
Anyway, back to the L8 concert, which you can read all about in the major newspapers, most probably in the newspapers of the G8 countries, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, the UK and the US. Perhaps a few decades later, we will have more Asian countries (like China and India, but they have to revamp their infrastructural and social weaknessses) who will expand this to G(n) where n = positive integers. Some would argue that it is a a great way of enlisting popular culture to tap into the psyche of the people, hyping it up and making them excited enough to want to travel just to be part of it. Some felt that its glittering affair is a far cry from the abject lives of the Africans they are trying to portray (with the exception of African bandits who amassed their riches through plaguing their people). I hope that the G8 leaders,as many other critics have said, would address the political weakness of many of these African countries. Parts of Africa used to be part of some glorious civilization in the past, but that seems to have disappeared into history. They have the best people whom they can work with to look for better solutions.
And the problem of climate change and environment, I fervently hope that something can be done about it. But just looking to the leaders to act tough on it, while we complacently add to the climate problems is like the cliche pot calling the kettle black. There are many countries in Asia whose citizens are living abject lives, but perhaps no longer to the starvation extent of still so many Africans. I think it is important for the media, and for any public education propagandist, to actually show the REAL reason why African nations are left so far behind. Yet within their nations have produced world-class and world-famous artists, musicians, writers and even scientists, something which many South East Asian countries have yet to achieve.
Perhaps the best way to assess the current way the world works is to look at who are the powerful people who inhabit it. Are they paragon of our values?
I end this post by attaching this leader from Guardian which spells out much of these two events
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/leaders/story/0,6903,1520122,00.html. And whatever the G8 meet and L8 tries to do will be rendered pyrrhic if this continues without accountability
Sunday, June 26, 2005
We need more articles like this...
http://www.kakiseni.com/articles/reviews/MDY4OA.html
as most of our discussion of the art scenes in Malaysia tend to be rather bland...
as most of our discussion of the art scenes in Malaysia tend to be rather bland...
Saturday, June 25, 2005
What is to become of us?
And no more sexy clothes for women across the board. So, forget about making Kelantan a target for fashionable clothes (according to fashion magazines) and concentrate on clothes that are in fashion according to the new rules.
I wonder what will the muslim women say to this...looks like their hands are tied now.
And teenagers won't get to wear miniskirts, unlike their mothers. Here is the full post. Sorry, no time to translate to English so try using a web translator if you can't read Malay. (:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/37309
Denda maksima jika tidak pakai tudung di Kelantan
Jun 24, 05 4:28pm
Terjemahan Kerajaan PAS di Kelantan akan mengenakan denda maksium ke atas wanita Islam di negeri itu yang tidak memakai tudung.
Majlis Perbandaran Kota Bharu – ibu negeri Kelantan – akan denda maksima RM50 ke atas mereka yang melakukan kesalahan itu.
“Sudah sampai masanya untuk mengenakan kompaun (denda) maksima. Kami berharap ia akan meningkatkan lagi kesedaran (mengenainya),” kata jurucakap majlis tersebut, Azman Mohamad Daham seperti yang dilaporkan oleh akhbar New Straits Times.
Akhbar itu berkata, 80 wanita, sebahagian besarnya pembantu kedai, telahpun dikenakan denda RM30 sepanjang lima bulan pertama tahun ini.
"Ramai Wanita didapati tidak memakai tudung pada waktu malam dan pada hujung minggu kerana mereka menjangka tidak ada pegawai penguatkuasa bertugas pada waktu itu,” katanya.
Menurutnya, penguatkuasaan akan diteruskan bagi memastikan peraturan memakai tudung itu dipatuhi.
PAS, yang memerintah Kelantan sejak 15 tahun lalu, memperkenalkan peraturan pakaian pada 1995 yang mewajidkan wanita Islam yang bekerja di tempat awam, memakai pakaian yang menutup badan mereka, kecuali tapak tangan dan muka.
Mini skirt dilarang
Pekerja di kalangan wanita bukan Islam pula dilarang memakai mini skirt atau pakaian yang mendedahkan badan mereka.
Sejak itu, majlis perbandaran yang menguatkuasakan peraturan itu, telah mendenda wanita yang tidak memakai tudung dan memberi amaran tidak akan membaharui lesen perniagaan majikan yang pekerja mereka tidak mematuhinya.
PAS, yang mahu menubuhkan negara Islam di Malaysia, telah memperkenalkan banyak peraturan di Kelantan.
Ini termasuklah larangan membuka salon uniseks, tempat urut dan majlis menyanyi dan menari di tempat terbuka. PAS juga menggalakkan wanita Islam supaya tidak memakai gincu.
Bagaimanapun, parti itu kehilangan Terengganu kepada Barisan Nasional (BN) dalam pilihanraya umum tahun lalu, selepas berkuasa selama satu penggal.
Dalam pilihanraya umum itu juga, BN hampir merampas Kelantan daripada PAS apabila parti itu hanya mampu mengekalkan kuasanya dengan majoriti tiga kerusi sahaja.
- AFP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And as this guy rightly says, we do have more pressing concerns, though I disagree with his inability to see that some small things DO MATTER. http://www.geocities.com/ummahonline/suratpembaca/050625shatibi-hampas.htm.. Like whether one has the space to interact to learn the art of respecting each other. Over repression of freedom lead to much ugly undercurrents, as Victorian history, and extremist Muslim countries (and Christian countries, though the latter don't really exist in a big scale today),clearly show.
However, if we should be concerned with more pressing matters of the country, why is everyone more interested in petty matters like whether women would or would not cover themselves?? Couldn't they decide that for themselves or do we need to hark back to the age when women are considered, inspite of all their education, too stupid to think for themselves (sounds very Nietzschean)?
I wonder what will the muslim women say to this...looks like their hands are tied now.
And teenagers won't get to wear miniskirts, unlike their mothers. Here is the full post. Sorry, no time to translate to English so try using a web translator if you can't read Malay. (:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/37309
Denda maksima jika tidak pakai tudung di Kelantan
Jun 24, 05 4:28pm
Terjemahan Kerajaan PAS di Kelantan akan mengenakan denda maksium ke atas wanita Islam di negeri itu yang tidak memakai tudung.
Majlis Perbandaran Kota Bharu – ibu negeri Kelantan – akan denda maksima RM50 ke atas mereka yang melakukan kesalahan itu.
“Sudah sampai masanya untuk mengenakan kompaun (denda) maksima. Kami berharap ia akan meningkatkan lagi kesedaran (mengenainya),” kata jurucakap majlis tersebut, Azman Mohamad Daham seperti yang dilaporkan oleh akhbar New Straits Times.
Akhbar itu berkata, 80 wanita, sebahagian besarnya pembantu kedai, telahpun dikenakan denda RM30 sepanjang lima bulan pertama tahun ini.
"Ramai Wanita didapati tidak memakai tudung pada waktu malam dan pada hujung minggu kerana mereka menjangka tidak ada pegawai penguatkuasa bertugas pada waktu itu,” katanya.
Menurutnya, penguatkuasaan akan diteruskan bagi memastikan peraturan memakai tudung itu dipatuhi.
PAS, yang memerintah Kelantan sejak 15 tahun lalu, memperkenalkan peraturan pakaian pada 1995 yang mewajidkan wanita Islam yang bekerja di tempat awam, memakai pakaian yang menutup badan mereka, kecuali tapak tangan dan muka.
Mini skirt dilarang
Pekerja di kalangan wanita bukan Islam pula dilarang memakai mini skirt atau pakaian yang mendedahkan badan mereka.
Sejak itu, majlis perbandaran yang menguatkuasakan peraturan itu, telah mendenda wanita yang tidak memakai tudung dan memberi amaran tidak akan membaharui lesen perniagaan majikan yang pekerja mereka tidak mematuhinya.
PAS, yang mahu menubuhkan negara Islam di Malaysia, telah memperkenalkan banyak peraturan di Kelantan.
Ini termasuklah larangan membuka salon uniseks, tempat urut dan majlis menyanyi dan menari di tempat terbuka. PAS juga menggalakkan wanita Islam supaya tidak memakai gincu.
Bagaimanapun, parti itu kehilangan Terengganu kepada Barisan Nasional (BN) dalam pilihanraya umum tahun lalu, selepas berkuasa selama satu penggal.
Dalam pilihanraya umum itu juga, BN hampir merampas Kelantan daripada PAS apabila parti itu hanya mampu mengekalkan kuasanya dengan majoriti tiga kerusi sahaja.
- AFP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And as this guy rightly says, we do have more pressing concerns, though I disagree with his inability to see that some small things DO MATTER. http://www.geocities.com/ummahonline/suratpembaca/050625shatibi-hampas.htm.. Like whether one has the space to interact to learn the art of respecting each other. Over repression of freedom lead to much ugly undercurrents, as Victorian history, and extremist Muslim countries (and Christian countries, though the latter don't really exist in a big scale today),clearly show.
However, if we should be concerned with more pressing matters of the country, why is everyone more interested in petty matters like whether women would or would not cover themselves?? Couldn't they decide that for themselves or do we need to hark back to the age when women are considered, inspite of all their education, too stupid to think for themselves (sounds very Nietzschean)?
Saturday, June 18, 2005
A thorn to one's flesh...
I remember once when an acquaintance mentioned that once you have achieved the ultimate goal in one life, you can just slide into complacency and no longer worry about achieving excellence. Meaning, as long as the status quo is maintained, there is no need to worry your head about looking for new and greater challenges.
Well, this seems to haunt Malaysia nowadays, in all fields, and especially in academia, where the ethos has always been to strive to be better and better in your field and your job, whatever post you hold. But here, it is a matter of buttering up just to maintain your position. So, all talks of excellence are rattlings of empty vessels, made worse by a fawning media who seemed to take over the roles of spin doctors.
So, has the fact that system make it so easy for one to stay in one position without continuously proving oneself been a source of many flowering talents that just disappear, or has the system actually been the source of the creation such "flowers" who wouldn't had been there in the first place? This seems to range from excelling in public school exams all the way to the top positions in the country.
Even for those with grit and determination, it seems to now require a more extraordinary sort to actually go beyond complacency and delusion of self-grandeur...
Well, this seems to haunt Malaysia nowadays, in all fields, and especially in academia, where the ethos has always been to strive to be better and better in your field and your job, whatever post you hold. But here, it is a matter of buttering up just to maintain your position. So, all talks of excellence are rattlings of empty vessels, made worse by a fawning media who seemed to take over the roles of spin doctors.
So, has the fact that system make it so easy for one to stay in one position without continuously proving oneself been a source of many flowering talents that just disappear, or has the system actually been the source of the creation such "flowers" who wouldn't had been there in the first place? This seems to range from excelling in public school exams all the way to the top positions in the country.
Even for those with grit and determination, it seems to now require a more extraordinary sort to actually go beyond complacency and delusion of self-grandeur...
Friday, June 17, 2005
What's the difference between an A1 and an A2 in Malaysian School Leaving Certificate Exam? The ever *yawn* debate continues
Well, in some ways, I really like the Spectator. They do get some good old-fashion ideas right:-
http://www.spectator.co.uk/article.php?id=6255
http://www.spectator.co.uk/article.php?id=6255
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Little musings on a slow day
Today is a slow day, and the Internet kept going up and down. I just lost a big chunk of what I had written here when I hit the back button. Drat.
I spent most of the time indoor, with the exception of dinner time, when I went out to have a meal of banana leaf rice. In between falling asleep and reading up theoretical works for my thesis, I was catching up on some short stories by a group of American writers. I suggest to everyone who have not, to get a copy of The Oxford Book of American Short Stories edited by Joyce Carol Oates. There, you get to see the various styles of the best of American writers for the last two hundred years. What made them all fantastic were the gripping, beautiful, evocative and imaginative use of words. The most banal becomes sublime.
For a long time, I live half my life imaginatively, within the land of fantasy. Should reality threaten to upheave, the fertility of my thoughts would go into hibernation mode. I remembered, a few years ago, when attempting to study for my Calculus III finales, I found myself building an entire novel in my mind, using conversations and descriptions and vivid images, so much so that I hardly new what of the squiggles on the white sheets had entered into my subconscious. What was worse, I have not even studied much in way of Calculus III prior to that night, and finals was tomorrow. Maybe something did get into my mind, as I managed a C+. That was when I realised that I was not meant to be a mathematician.
AS a physics major, I had to spend a lot of time reading about every aspects of physics. But, I spent even more time reading every aspect of other things, from feminist theories to literature. It seems that I spent most of my hols reading everything, including Literature, except physics. And I love Literature to death, so much so that I did electives in it. I read politics, psychology and other humanity fields, but Literature was always an area that excited me most. Perhaps, I unconsciously realised that I was never going to be a professional physicist. Nor did I think my grades would make me a good one anyway. Maybe that's why I am doing Literature now. Now and then, I still wistfully think about physics.
This is like choosing between two persons, two that you love. You are in love forever and a day with the first person, feeling secure and whole in him or her. Suddenly, someone comes a long and you find your life going into turmoil. Passion ignited and your heart ache. A feeling is kindled that you have not felt before, or have not felt in a long time, or had not felt as strongly. What do you do then? But, you aren't sure if this is a passing fancy, a probably infatuation, or lasting love.
You are not certain...
I spent most of the time indoor, with the exception of dinner time, when I went out to have a meal of banana leaf rice. In between falling asleep and reading up theoretical works for my thesis, I was catching up on some short stories by a group of American writers. I suggest to everyone who have not, to get a copy of The Oxford Book of American Short Stories edited by Joyce Carol Oates. There, you get to see the various styles of the best of American writers for the last two hundred years. What made them all fantastic were the gripping, beautiful, evocative and imaginative use of words. The most banal becomes sublime.
For a long time, I live half my life imaginatively, within the land of fantasy. Should reality threaten to upheave, the fertility of my thoughts would go into hibernation mode. I remembered, a few years ago, when attempting to study for my Calculus III finales, I found myself building an entire novel in my mind, using conversations and descriptions and vivid images, so much so that I hardly new what of the squiggles on the white sheets had entered into my subconscious. What was worse, I have not even studied much in way of Calculus III prior to that night, and finals was tomorrow. Maybe something did get into my mind, as I managed a C+. That was when I realised that I was not meant to be a mathematician.
AS a physics major, I had to spend a lot of time reading about every aspects of physics. But, I spent even more time reading every aspect of other things, from feminist theories to literature. It seems that I spent most of my hols reading everything, including Literature, except physics. And I love Literature to death, so much so that I did electives in it. I read politics, psychology and other humanity fields, but Literature was always an area that excited me most. Perhaps, I unconsciously realised that I was never going to be a professional physicist. Nor did I think my grades would make me a good one anyway. Maybe that's why I am doing Literature now. Now and then, I still wistfully think about physics.
This is like choosing between two persons, two that you love. You are in love forever and a day with the first person, feeling secure and whole in him or her. Suddenly, someone comes a long and you find your life going into turmoil. Passion ignited and your heart ache. A feeling is kindled that you have not felt before, or have not felt in a long time, or had not felt as strongly. What do you do then? But, you aren't sure if this is a passing fancy, a probably infatuation, or lasting love.
You are not certain...
Monday, June 06, 2005
Petty affairs that preoccupy a petty country
I try to be proud of Malaysia. I am proud of Malaysia as a land but the ongoing drama of pettiness that has become so ingrained in its culture made me want to stick my head in the sand. Oh (blasphemous phrase), looks like we are still very much coolie mentality. The British never left us, they just went and hide and snigger while we all make a fool of ourselves. Wanna know what I mean? Just go look at the country's media (but then, who wants to bother with the pettiness that is Malaysia, right?). Maybe best if you read could check out the letters section of http://www.malaysiakini.com since it's free and you can more or less figure out what's going on from reading the many responses. In a country that likes to believe that it lives by the maxim, "Kepimpinan Melalu Teladan" (Leadership by Example) has turned into a nightmare of "Turutan melalui Paksaan" (Do it or else...)
In a way, I have to feel sorry for the majority of people living in this coconut shell country. They have no idea...
Read this and this and the whole saga on academia (you will find them easily in the letters section).
That said, I've better buckle down and try my best to complete my dissertation as soon as possible to get out of the local ivory tower...arrrgggh
Why should I bother about human rights in this country when a big percentage of the population aren't even humans...
In a way, I have to feel sorry for the majority of people living in this coconut shell country. They have no idea...
Read this and this and the whole saga on academia (you will find them easily in the letters section).
That said, I've better buckle down and try my best to complete my dissertation as soon as possible to get out of the local ivory tower...arrrgggh
Why should I bother about human rights in this country when a big percentage of the population aren't even humans...
Note from a postcard 3
Lights were lowered, such that one is not distracted by the squashed bodies littering the room, drapping chairs, sofas and floors. Some were quite bohemian, while some are steeped in high-street fashion that is such a rage in Malaysia. This definitely no place to see anyone in folksy garb. Perhaps, when it comes to enjoyment, one will not see a much more multiracial crowd, though mostly speaking the same language. The language of culture, language of communication and language of the body. Curvaceous bodies of wood and plastic, with metal strings, are the stars of the evening, together with their human apparachiks.
Bodies swayed and heads nodded to the rhythm vibrating from the bodaceous neutered creatures, lovingly strummed by men and women, boys and girls. At times, the amplifier threatens to drown out its sometimes mellow and sometimes intense melodies and riffs. Neither whispering heads nor clinking glasses could divert the attention from the performers sitting on the highstool, at the far corner of the room.
The room obeyed the principles of Brownian motion. Bodily vibrations were mostly confined to the occasional jerk when bodies were jammed against each other. The writer wonders about erotic activities that could have been inspired by the penetration of intimate space. Yet, while PV = nRT did not take time into consideration, yet it is probable to plot a graph against the latter, and one would most probably see an exponential decrease between zero and t (where t = time), before plateauing at around 2330.
With the room mostly emptied out, the organisers packed whilst the writer and friends adjourned for supper.
(A review of the first KL Singsong performance launch at La Bodega, Tengkat Tong Shin, KL, on 5th June 2005)
Bodies swayed and heads nodded to the rhythm vibrating from the bodaceous neutered creatures, lovingly strummed by men and women, boys and girls. At times, the amplifier threatens to drown out its sometimes mellow and sometimes intense melodies and riffs. Neither whispering heads nor clinking glasses could divert the attention from the performers sitting on the highstool, at the far corner of the room.
The room obeyed the principles of Brownian motion. Bodily vibrations were mostly confined to the occasional jerk when bodies were jammed against each other. The writer wonders about erotic activities that could have been inspired by the penetration of intimate space. Yet, while PV = nRT did not take time into consideration, yet it is probable to plot a graph against the latter, and one would most probably see an exponential decrease between zero and t (where t = time), before plateauing at around 2330.
With the room mostly emptied out, the organisers packed whilst the writer and friends adjourned for supper.
(A review of the first KL Singsong performance launch at La Bodega, Tengkat Tong Shin, KL, on 5th June 2005)
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Cliches of life
We have this oft repeated statement that your birth, wedding and death are the three most important events in your life.
For the first, we tend to have very little conscious memory, though by digging through the recesses of our cerebral storage, we might find incidents both pleaasant and unpleasant. I have never cease to marvel at the imprints that incidents can make in your mind, and how a trigger can help you recall a smell, a touch, a taste, a sound.
In our early adulthood and for the rest of our lives, we will be getting invites from friends, acquaintances and strangers. From your twenties onwards, especially between mid twenties to mid thirties, you get an influx of wedding invitations from your peers,sometimes in such abundance that you can choose between going to a church wedding, a wedding dinner, a Malay kenduri and Indian temple ceremony within the space of one day. This of course is also the age when everyone will start asking as to when your turn will be. Perhaps it is great to be married, perhaps it is not. As with every part of life, there are ups and downs, boredom and exhilaration.
Then, you get invited to parties celebrating the various stages of their offsprings' infancy.
As your temple starts greying and you are assailed with various minor ailments that often get blown out. When you start worrying about your cholesterol and blood pressure. When you wish your kids would quickly become independent so that you need not be the tree where money grows on. You start reading about your peers in orbituaries. You begin to get an ever increasing amount of funerals to attend just as the wedding invites peter off, with occasional invites from those a decade or more younger than yourself.
You still get invited to parties celebrating the various stages of their offsprings' infancy. Perhaps you do the same with your children and grandchildren, after you capitulated to the conventions of marriage and popped out kids who go on to have kids of their own. Or you might just eschew the entire institution of marriage and adopt your children (or have them out of wedlock), but then, the flexibility of such arrangements depend on your social and economic circumstance. Or you might choose to lead a life of solitude, spouseless and childless.
The circle of life continues as you grow wrinkled and frail. If you are lucky, the Grim Reaper might decide to come before your earthly body fails you completely.
And then, what?
For the first, we tend to have very little conscious memory, though by digging through the recesses of our cerebral storage, we might find incidents both pleaasant and unpleasant. I have never cease to marvel at the imprints that incidents can make in your mind, and how a trigger can help you recall a smell, a touch, a taste, a sound.
In our early adulthood and for the rest of our lives, we will be getting invites from friends, acquaintances and strangers. From your twenties onwards, especially between mid twenties to mid thirties, you get an influx of wedding invitations from your peers,sometimes in such abundance that you can choose between going to a church wedding, a wedding dinner, a Malay kenduri and Indian temple ceremony within the space of one day. This of course is also the age when everyone will start asking as to when your turn will be. Perhaps it is great to be married, perhaps it is not. As with every part of life, there are ups and downs, boredom and exhilaration.
Then, you get invited to parties celebrating the various stages of their offsprings' infancy.
As your temple starts greying and you are assailed with various minor ailments that often get blown out. When you start worrying about your cholesterol and blood pressure. When you wish your kids would quickly become independent so that you need not be the tree where money grows on. You start reading about your peers in orbituaries. You begin to get an ever increasing amount of funerals to attend just as the wedding invites peter off, with occasional invites from those a decade or more younger than yourself.
You still get invited to parties celebrating the various stages of their offsprings' infancy. Perhaps you do the same with your children and grandchildren, after you capitulated to the conventions of marriage and popped out kids who go on to have kids of their own. Or you might just eschew the entire institution of marriage and adopt your children (or have them out of wedlock), but then, the flexibility of such arrangements depend on your social and economic circumstance. Or you might choose to lead a life of solitude, spouseless and childless.
The circle of life continues as you grow wrinkled and frail. If you are lucky, the Grim Reaper might decide to come before your earthly body fails you completely.
And then, what?
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Malaysians against moral policing
Sign here!
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/mamp
Cheers
Clarissa
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/mamp
Cheers
Clarissa
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Freedom of Ideas/Information? Forget it!
I received a post not too long ago regarding the banning of the movie "Sweet Sixteen" by Ken Loach (I have yet to seen it but this incident made me want to watch it more!) because it was construed as highly immoral (though one of the lame excuse given was that the heavily accented Scottish language would not be understood by the Malaysian audience. Yeah right. You think we are all frogs living under the coconut hus, is it?) because of its used of explicit expletives (I love pairing words like these!). This coming from a well known academic (well, at least within Malaysia). They, are supposedly our last bastion of enlightenment. We are living in a dark age indeed.
Also, being a minority member of a Muslim society that is becoming succeedingly rigid (it stupefies and worry me that the people who might one day change a progressive thinking society into the bastion of Jumud . Best way to explain this is that it means ignorance and regression into the dark age and has its origin in Arabic) regressivity and probable repression are actually of my own age, some younger, some slightly older. I have actually met some of them, and they personally seemed rather nice. I am sure most people are rather nice, until you attack their ideologies.
Many of the discussions happening tend to happen in the Malay language, so an outsider exploring might not be aware of all that is going on. It seems that many equate liberal interpretation of Islam with hedonism. While I would shy with overly extreme interpretation of any religion, regardless of which end of the spectrum their veer towards, one must realise that there is no way that one can actually no the actual intention of the founder to the dot. We can only approach as close as possible. And as the religion travels through time, there would have been certain amount of additions and deletions to the knowledge, though I know that I would be crucified for saying this by the religion I belong to.
Yet religion shapes the very core of a person's being, so when that gets challenged, they will rise and close ranks to protect themselves from the infidels and the polluters. I wish I have something more substantial to contribute now, but being in the throes of much confusion and needing time to sort it out, I could only offer such generalised views. Perhaps I might be able to say something more cogent a few months from now. One hopes.
In the meantime, keep adding to my comment box. I feel really lonely, you know (:
And ongoing debate that never wanes is that of moral policing. Somehow, this has to do with the need for power. Perhaps it is high time I should read The Prince properly. But I have got another controversial religious scholar to read now. And yes, my ever-unfinished thesis to do :(
Also, being a minority member of a Muslim society that is becoming succeedingly rigid (it stupefies and worry me that the people who might one day change a progressive thinking society into the bastion of Jumud . Best way to explain this is that it means ignorance and regression into the dark age and has its origin in Arabic) regressivity and probable repression are actually of my own age, some younger, some slightly older. I have actually met some of them, and they personally seemed rather nice. I am sure most people are rather nice, until you attack their ideologies.
Many of the discussions happening tend to happen in the Malay language, so an outsider exploring might not be aware of all that is going on. It seems that many equate liberal interpretation of Islam with hedonism. While I would shy with overly extreme interpretation of any religion, regardless of which end of the spectrum their veer towards, one must realise that there is no way that one can actually no the actual intention of the founder to the dot. We can only approach as close as possible. And as the religion travels through time, there would have been certain amount of additions and deletions to the knowledge, though I know that I would be crucified for saying this by the religion I belong to.
Yet religion shapes the very core of a person's being, so when that gets challenged, they will rise and close ranks to protect themselves from the infidels and the polluters. I wish I have something more substantial to contribute now, but being in the throes of much confusion and needing time to sort it out, I could only offer such generalised views. Perhaps I might be able to say something more cogent a few months from now. One hopes.
In the meantime, keep adding to my comment box. I feel really lonely, you know (:
And ongoing debate that never wanes is that of moral policing. Somehow, this has to do with the need for power. Perhaps it is high time I should read The Prince properly. But I have got another controversial religious scholar to read now. And yes, my ever-unfinished thesis to do :(
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
More links on POD
http://www.sfwa.org/beware/printondemand.html
http://www.booksandtales.com/podframeo.htm
Haven't gotten around to looking through them all yet, but will do so later.
Cheers!
http://www.booksandtales.com/podframeo.htm
Haven't gotten around to looking through them all yet, but will do so later.
Cheers!
Best-selling books.
This is for those who make it their business to know the provenance for future best-sellers. Surfers and lurkers are welcome to browse.
http://bookpagebuzz.blogspot.com/
And a newspaper article about a Cambridge student who wrote her first novel while still doing A-levels (The Icarus Girl).
I actually read about it last year but forgot to blog it down, so here is a rather late entry.
AS I have discussed in my earlier postings, I think there are many interesting tales to be told at a local level that could excite an international audience. One needs to know one's audience, the right publisher and most importantly, maybe the right agent?
I've surfed to many sites belong to publishing houses and I can assure you that no big publishing house worth its salt would take on an unrepresented author, unless if you are planning on academic monographs or you are a close kin of the publisher?
And something more recent. I have seen many articles in Malaysian newspapers (I apologise to my international readers who might not care) touting the latest fad in POD (Print on Demand) publishing. Before that, was E-book publishing as a cost-cutting measure for people desperate to get books out (though some established authors have had their books reprinted as an e-book. I know because I'd be asked if I wanted to review e-books published by a big publishing house. Apparently, most book reviewers didn't like that idea). Somehow, I was rather skeptical as to the whole process. With so many books needing my attention, would I want to buy a book promoted by an unknown author when I am inundated with not-so-good books published by major publishing houses (this is my take as a book reviewer). Somehow, I am old-fashion in the sense that by not going through the editorial process, one might somehow end up with an inferior ware. Not every author is born a Virginia Woolf, and even she has her misses.
Anyhow, two articles on E-Publishing and POD might be of interest in light of the above discussion. Somehow, in some ways, POD books just a stone throw away from vanity publishing (or perhaps adjacent to?). However, the concept of printing books on demand might work for more academic or avant garde works that might not find a ready receptive audience. However, I believe it needs to go hand-in-hand with old fashion reviewing and editing. Meaning, find probable subscribers (or reviewers) for the first print run (wasn't that what they used to do in bygone days?), with some extras for just-in-case, then gauge from there and print more in the next runs. But, working in the production line of publishing, I do realise that it can be more cost-effective to sometimes print in bulk, especially paperbacks.
Any takes on this?
http://bookpagebuzz.blogspot.com/
And a newspaper article about a Cambridge student who wrote her first novel while still doing A-levels (The Icarus Girl).
I actually read about it last year but forgot to blog it down, so here is a rather late entry.
AS I have discussed in my earlier postings, I think there are many interesting tales to be told at a local level that could excite an international audience. One needs to know one's audience, the right publisher and most importantly, maybe the right agent?
I've surfed to many sites belong to publishing houses and I can assure you that no big publishing house worth its salt would take on an unrepresented author, unless if you are planning on academic monographs or you are a close kin of the publisher?
And something more recent. I have seen many articles in Malaysian newspapers (I apologise to my international readers who might not care) touting the latest fad in POD (Print on Demand) publishing. Before that, was E-book publishing as a cost-cutting measure for people desperate to get books out (though some established authors have had their books reprinted as an e-book. I know because I'd be asked if I wanted to review e-books published by a big publishing house. Apparently, most book reviewers didn't like that idea). Somehow, I was rather skeptical as to the whole process. With so many books needing my attention, would I want to buy a book promoted by an unknown author when I am inundated with not-so-good books published by major publishing houses (this is my take as a book reviewer). Somehow, I am old-fashion in the sense that by not going through the editorial process, one might somehow end up with an inferior ware. Not every author is born a Virginia Woolf, and even she has her misses.
Anyhow, two articles on E-Publishing and POD might be of interest in light of the above discussion. Somehow, in some ways, POD books just a stone throw away from vanity publishing (or perhaps adjacent to?). However, the concept of printing books on demand might work for more academic or avant garde works that might not find a ready receptive audience. However, I believe it needs to go hand-in-hand with old fashion reviewing and editing. Meaning, find probable subscribers (or reviewers) for the first print run (wasn't that what they used to do in bygone days?), with some extras for just-in-case, then gauge from there and print more in the next runs. But, working in the production line of publishing, I do realise that it can be more cost-effective to sometimes print in bulk, especially paperbacks.
Any takes on this?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Human cyborg?
It all started with http://202.186.86.35/services/printerfriendly.asp?file=/2005/5/13/nation/10943441.asp&sec=nation
So I did a search and unearth plenty of information about this man who wants to be in one (sync, harmony,) with his computer.
The scientist in me tells me that I should be both excited and sceptical about this. The wanting to realise the pomo (oops, I mean postmodern) dream of syncing the human as being a gentic makeup of ideas with the greatest human creation (well, maybe not that great) sounds like a wet dream to all hardcore nanotechnologists. But of course, there are many sceptics, and I wonder that if he really is a step closer to finding the ultimate cure for Parkinson, why isn't this being shared more widely?
Remember the 'Bad Science' column run by The Guardian? Well, I do wonder if anyone has posted anything on this. Here are some news from Wired
Anyhow, you can always google for it (see, a trademark that has become a ubiquitous verb) yourself. I have captured a link for you under note it. Also, check out http://www.disinfo.com/archive/pages/dossier/id174/pg1/
Have to be careful as to what I do at work today as many big-wigs are around (not that they wear wigs anymore. We need to find a less cthnonic word).
A lot of work out there, both discussing the merits of popularly written science books and badly written science books.
Can someone tell me how I can be a freelance science writer? I've got a degree in science! Anything to get out of this place where everyone above production seems to think that they are doing such important things that the world will come to an end should we fail to satisfy their highnesses requirements, when all of them, up to the highest boss, are merely slaves to the monied beings..called THE CUSTOMERS. Yeah, they pay my salary too. Bleah.
One lesson I learnt from my job... Forget about climbing up the ladder to reach for that eponymous carrot. Trust me, the higher you go, the more likely it will be moved up. Work for your own money and for yourself. Be rich. Then you can dangle everybody's weenies. Yes, even that of the big big big obese boss you once worked for, and do sexist and politically incorrect things.
From a disgruntled employee
So I did a search and unearth plenty of information about this man who wants to be in one (sync, harmony,
The scientist in me tells me that I should be both excited and sceptical about this. The wanting to realise the pomo (oops, I mean postmodern) dream of syncing the human as being a gentic makeup of ideas with the greatest human creation (well, maybe not that great) sounds like a wet dream to all hardcore nanotechnologists. But of course, there are many sceptics, and I wonder that if he really is a step closer to finding the ultimate cure for Parkinson, why isn't this being shared more widely?
Remember the 'Bad Science' column run by The Guardian? Well, I do wonder if anyone has posted anything on this. Here are some news from Wired
Anyhow, you can always google for it (see, a trademark that has become a ubiquitous verb) yourself. I have captured a link for you under note it. Also, check out http://www.disinfo.com/archive/pages/dossier/id174/pg1/
Have to be careful as to what I do at work today as many big-wigs are around (not that they wear wigs anymore. We need to find a less cthnonic word).
A lot of work out there, both discussing the merits of popularly written science books and badly written science books.
Can someone tell me how I can be a freelance science writer? I've got a degree in science! Anything to get out of this place where everyone above production seems to think that they are doing such important things that the world will come to an end should we fail to satisfy their highnesses requirements, when all of them, up to the highest boss, are merely slaves to the monied beings..called THE CUSTOMERS. Yeah, they pay my salary too. Bleah.
One lesson I learnt from my job... Forget about climbing up the ladder to reach for that eponymous carrot. Trust me, the higher you go, the more likely it will be moved up. Work for your own money and for yourself. Be rich. Then you can dangle everybody's weenies. Yes, even that of the big big big obese boss you once worked for, and do sexist and politically incorrect things.
From a disgruntled employee
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