psychosis

Working on Plath can sometimes push me into a state of melancholia.

Here is an article that might be of interest to you guys. It is on Evolutionary Psychology .

I am now looking around for more works and articles that have ever been written on Plath. If anyone of you out there reading this knows someone who is or is a Plath scholar, please email me. I would like to pow-wow with you. (:

Health conscious

I have been particularly health conscious, going for health checks for every little sign and symptom that might be a probable diagnosis to a disease. Such meticulous attention has less to do with hypochondria but more to do with the awareness that I am not getting any younger and the world at large is getting unhealthy, due to unnatural and natural courses (from the frenetic modern day lifestyle to mutations of viruses). Hence, when I pricked myself with a needle while sewing yesterday, I decided to go see the doctor and get vaccination againt possible Tetanus. Sure enough, the doctor gave me a dose of the adsorbed tetanus toxoid. For those of you who are not in the know (I wasn't until yesterday), there was a shortage of vaccines due to the discontinuation of its production by one of the pharmacological companies. However, the problem of supply has been resolved, and those who have not had an anti-tetanus injection in years might want to think about getting a booster shot. Find out more about the drugs at
http://www.ashp.org/shortage/tetanus-update.cfm

To look at research done on the impact of postvaccination antibody anti tetanus response, you can go to this article online at
http://iai.asm.org/cgi/content/full/67/11/5951

Going for regular medical examination (at least once a year) is good for your soul. At least it serves as warnings and reminders when you misbehave.

Religion and politics

When religion and politics are merged, does it mean that the underclass(the non-patricians) will suffer from over-zealous, bigoted, narrow minds who think that they have been called to decide what is good or bad for them?

Check it here
Girl got executed for "Sharp Tongue"
To the women:Sleep with the Mullah if you want your rights

I used to naively think that religion can make you a better person. Yeah right. It just allows the unpopular, short, and ugly kid fo exact his or her revenge, in the name of God/Allah/Yah-Weh.

I supposed the reason the People of the Book get so much bad press is because there are more of us to screw around with the other people (both of the Book and not of the Book).

Friday Night in August

Here am I, sitting before a computer on a night when Sylvia Plath would be looking for dates (if she wasn't staying in like me). Yes, I am obssessed with the subject of my study. But it is a healthy obssession, and hopefully would give birth to a new book.

I often wonder, and still do, why do I do what I do. Why do I sit in a table, with three other people that I barely know, and watch them talk, and hear their uncomfortable silences, as they try to make conversation with each other, under my unmoving gaze. Perhaps it is to derive comfort in the company of strangers? Or to discover a different world that I have never inhabited. Why do I crack my head so hard, working on a book (which will begin life as a dissertation), when I could just hav fulfilled minimal requirements and get my Degree. But then, is that the reason why I embarked on that course of study? What is the use of a paper qualification in Literature if one does not have an enriching experience to accompany it?

I would like to share an article by feminist, Katha Politt, that I have googled up. I first read her when one of her opinion essays was published in New Yorker, talking about how she would webstalk her ex-lover by googling and searching online for what tenuous connection there was to him. Strange for a feminist to do that, you say? Well, feminist or no feminist, sometimes the heart and emotions get the better of us. I have been guilty of googling up people, from former lovers to former lovers of lovers. Friends and acquaintances have also been web-checked (or webstalked) by me. So, what can I say ? :P

I have bought another New Yorker (Aug 2 issues, they come late over here in Malaysia) and a collection of short stories by Italo Calvino. It seems that I would forgo all the girly stuff, namely clothes, shoes, bags and make-up just to save up money for books and more books. I wouldn't even buy anything beyond the printed material when I travel abroad to Europe, though I make the exceptions when I go to places like Thailand and Indonesia. As a colleague says, my sense of fashion is often disastrous (due to the fact that I don't really have enough clothes to match for all 5 days of work and so I end up with mismatched items. I tend to have more casuals (Read T-Shirts, pants and shorts) than work or party wear (which can be counted with my toes and fingers, though they look like more when I mix and match with more casual shifts). I only have one unbroken bag (bought at some cheap sale in my hometown up north), 6 pairs of shoes (including two pairs of heels, one an old fashion black strappy pair I got from a sale in London) and a pair of sandals. I do like manicures and pedicures ( I treat myself to them once a month or once in two months, and not always doing both simultaneously), hair treatments for problematic hair and scalp(which I now decide to do myself to save) and even facials when my skin looks stressed up (and this is because I actually have a full-time job for a change). I guess I can save myself from having to do the latter two if I just bloody move out of the city, which is what I would do, once my current contract ends (I need to save money then). It is the cause of my skin and hair problems, and the fact that I live in a hole without a kitchen precludes me from ever being able to cook, hence creating dietary problems as well.

I suppose I should stop here instead of boring you with the more frivolous aspects of my life. Back to New Yorker...

Some technology links

I don't have a lot to say at this point, except that many of the people I know and friends will be flying abroad to further their studies between this month and next. I wish them well and I will miss seeing them around here. I look forward to the day when I could also spread my wings and fly.

On a different note, I would like to share some interesting tehcnologically-related links that I have found via emails and from my compulsive surfing habits.

DNA Programming - Will this trump Moore's Law which says that the number of transistors in the integrated circuits will double annually.

Handheld viruses
http://www.informit.com/articles/printerfriendly.asp?p=327990
http://www.informit.com/articles/article.asp?p=327994

Currently reading the Communist Manifesto and will be reading Julie Kristeva.

Another week has passed

The reason why I haven't been posting for the whole of last week was because I had to mediate between preparing and attending a big conference in Malaysia for three days, and getting chores done, which includes clearing up my room. After a day long event which includes getting up at 6:15-6:30 every morning to travel 60 km down south and back, I am usually too tired to attempt anything useful. The process of sorting out my room included recycling paper, recycling bottles, and recycling some last year's issues of Malaysia's Edition of Marie Claire. I profess to reading women's magazines (well, usually only Marie Claire) to gauge the current conditions of popular culture in this country. While it titillates the eyes with its visuals, its featured products and stories both corny and serious, it is a good way to find out about current trends and the effects of magazine reading. While I would like to stave away every magazine I have for research purpose in the near future, I know that it would take up space, that despite the fact that I have not bought a lifestyle magazine in months (excepting free copies of a men's magazines that I used to get as a writer for them). Hence, I gave at least three copies away and would bring the rest back to my hometown for storage.

Btw, people, when you ever throw anything into recycling of donation bins, please read the labels on top. In one donation bin somewhere in the south of Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia, a number of people have thrown in old shoes where they are supposed to be throwing in reading materials. Plus a moron or two who threw in their rubbish. Blooming idiots.

Btw, if you are interested to know what conference I have been attending the past week, you can check it out here. Much work is needed to refine and revise the paper that I have presented. I think they will post the papers online later.

I would like to report that my dissertation research is making progress. Now, if only there are more hours in a day.

The week is coming to an end. It has been productive, despite the occasional hiccups here and there. I am proud to announce that my dissertation project is finally underway, and I had shortlisted areas which I would be working on. Now, I just need to get my preliminary report out and chart the framework of my chapters.

I need to prepare myself to moderate for a seminar tomorrow. Drats, that means no late night for me today. And to think that it is Friday ):

Going for a friend's housewarming this Sunday. That promises to be loads of fun. We might even be catching Michael Moore's latest film.

Life is looking up for me as I managed to pull myself out from the rut of never ever starting on my thesis. I need to get it done as soon as I can so that I could get on with life before I become too old.

Maybe I will blog more this coming weekend, if I have anything else to say...

 

We move in different worlds....

I am sure that you would already have read about things like this in the other blogs, about how people are never satisfied with what they have or what others have. I am certain that many of you have seen the bitchings and mud-slingings that go on in other public internet forums and even newsgroups. How we all seem to have a great capacity for passing judgements and make bitchy remarks about others, even those who have not done anything to harm us or anyone else. I know that I can be guilty of this sin.  And I do know that I, and many other people reading this, have a superiority complex when dealing with other people that we deemed inferior to ourselves. In my case, the fact that I am able to contain such feelings is because I have gone to school, university and work in jobs with all sorts of people from all walks of life. I do get to hear about what they do and their lives. And I do know that not everyone always make the choices that they make out of freewill. It is often dictated by a necessity to survive, to live on in a world screwed up by humans. It is always easy for us to think that we are not them, therefore there is no need to empathise but we never realised how fucked up we really can be until we are thrown into similar situations. Perhaps we need to stop being such a navel-grazing generation, ne c'est pas ?

In 1969

Monday night gave a pretty stimulating event, something one seldom find in Malaysia, due the level of intellectual depth of most of its people. Beth Yahp gave a reading of her short story " In 1969". I hope that it could get translated into other languages, so that other people would be able to read it for themselves. Even if you do not identify with the contents of the story (it is about a black part of Malaysian history), you would still enjoy the voice of the narrative, of the narrator of the story. Its use of language and imagery is powerful and poetic, even if Beth does not consider herself a poet (:
 
The reading was followed by a discussion of the invisible or silenced voice. Of whether one should or should not write about something. THe censorship that follows it, whether internal or external. The people who feel that they have to earn a living and maintain a precarious position in the society. People who feel too repressed from talking about black history, race, nationality, ethnicity and sexuality. Even Beth, a Malaysian writer with the full freedom to write whatever she wants abroad, is faced with this dilemma. Would one hurt the people one is closed to? Or is one able to cut of such ties and write with a vengeance, come sorrow or pain. Write in order to tell the truth. But then, many of us in this postmodern age seem to regard the truth as subjective. I beg to differ. History or Herstory is subjective. But not the truth.
 
If none of you have heard of Beth Yahp, just google her. She comes up quite a lot.
 
I take my inspiration from her, and I hope to be as great a writer not too far in the future. I am not growing younger everyday after all.
 
Fictional narrative provides an alternative explanation to the supposed objective history, when everyone now knows that there is no such thing as objective history. History is what we know or choose to remember. But fiction could play a part in reawakening interest in history, a subject badly taught and much magligned by the education system in Malaysia, and most probably elsewhere.
 
 
 

I am an idiot, but so are you..

Oxymoronic quotes overheard

"I love to read but this book has got too many words"

"I am not prejudiced, but I can't stand Malaysians, Indians, Afrikaneers, Thais, Chinese, Indians, (insert whatever other races/nationalities that come into your mind)"

"I am doing a PhD now but I can't stand the subject I am researching on. I will do it anyway, for the PhD. Beats working."

"I love to write poetry, but I don't read poetry."

Best things that people ever said to me (though I didn't like the context in which some were said at that time). Interesting how the same people(some of them, not all) did not take their own advice.

"Don't you ever fall into a rut."
"The world does not owe you a living or respect. You earn it."
"You are too self-centred. Think of those around you for a change."
"Always live your dreams, no matter what. Don't let frustrations and obstacles stop you."
"Capitalise on whatever strengths you have."
"Do you want to be part of a problem or part of a solution?"

Hmm, can't think of more. Let you know when I do *wink*

of cattle shows and beauty pageants

This is quite a lousy day for me, suffering from a stomach flu that reduced me to running to the toilet every 1 to 2 hours. Horrid. Since I can't get in to work today, I thought that I would alternate between sleeping, eating (bread is all I can ingest without too much ado), and surfing the net. Currently at my friend's place, but will be going home soon to mull for the rest of the day.

Here are some interesting things that I had picked up from the NET. It started with me innocently going to other ppl's blog (I read blogs when I am feeling too mashed up to really concentrate on anything heavier). There is this ongoing debate about what is beauty, what is a beauty pageant and who has the right to represent. Thought that I should post it here for my readers to peruse.
http://n1kki.frens.net/archives/2004/06/02/miss_malaysiauniverse.html
http://www.nicsteronline.com/archives/000908.html

One thing that I do agree about, with regard to international competitions, regardless of the principles behind it (be it a showcase of true talent and hardwork or a cattle show of flesh), it has to go by standards. Being optimistic, brave and irrepressible does not make me a suitable candidate to represent my country at whatever it is that I wish to do. That has to be won through true skill and ability. That, my friends, differentiate a solid performer and a wanna-be. I would like to be a good poet someday, and I am brave enough to work towards it. But if I am talentless, all the hardwork and sheer gumption would only give me 15 minutes of fame, and I would most probably be pelted with rotten tomatoes, like Mcgonagall

I am still so not very well ):

Money, money, money

Sometimes, I wonder whether I should work for money or for love. It would be good to combine both and become a millionaire one day. To know that you have all the money in the world to spend without worrying about creditors and debts can be quite exhilarating. It could also lead to one's downfall if one spend indiscreetly. But then, I would definitely like to give it a try in making as much money as I could, without crushing too many people. But then, it is hard to be filthy rich without crushing people in the process, right?

I must say that this is a funny article from express India.
http://www.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=32353#compstory

Talking about money, there has been much speculation about China's supposedly burgeoning economy. Naysayers think that it would burst. I am still trying to understand China's economics, so there is not much that I could add now, but I will provide the links that I feel is useful in the further understanding of China.

postmodern science and some personal tidbits

I have recently finished reading Luce Irigaray's "The Sex Which is Not One", a book that compiles a collection of her writings and interviews that have been translated into English. I will discuss more on it later. Suffice for me to say for now that she refutes many of the attitudes that Freud took with regard to the question of feminity. I found some interesting quotes that I could use for an academic essay that I am working on, and will tell the rest of you once it is published (somewhere *wink*). I also googled for Sandra Harding, a feminist philosopher of science, and will be getting her book from the library later today, the title being, "Is Science Multicultural". Go google out the book yourself, you lazy uns :P. And in my search, I found an essay critiquing her work, which I have not properly read through as I was busy with Irigaray yesterday (stayed late at work just to finish her). Anyway, you can check it out yourself at http://www.uno.edu/~asoble/pages/HARDING.htm .

Also, thought that I should mention that this blog appeared here. Must be due to the fact that I have linking out of me blog to a few urls that you will see on the site. And a search for Clarissa's Blog does rank it quite high, though there are other Clarissas around. Indulge my ego for a bit :D

Anyway, that's all folks. Til later.

Requiem For A Dream

Just a few days ago, I was watching the film, Requiem For A Dream,about addiction (to everything, from tvs to drugs). The underlying motif that run through the entire film is the fact that the characters in them have no hope, felt crushed, unwanted, alone, lonely, bored, self-hatred. They were mostly ordinary people, though one was initially a rich kid who finally had to prostitute herself to feed her habit. It is as much a critique of the American culture (the kind of food that leads to obesity, the repetitive and trancelike television shows, the holier-than-thou attitude, poverty, materialism and self-centredness). This darkly hints on the direction that Malaysia is spiralling into, with rising crime and psychotic people, that not stemming from a lack of morals (after all, they have all these moral and religious education rammed down the kids throats from an early age), but from lack of direction, goals, self-hatred, boredom, complacency, selfishness and everything that we see as happening in many first world countries. Seeing how the world has evolved, be they war-torn countries like many of the countries in the African continents and some in the Middle East, dictatorships in Latin American countries and most parts of Asia, or supposed democracy in the US, my belief in social Darwinism grows stronger everyday. We want and we need values, yes, but why aren't as practising it? Moralising aout all these things, as many institutionalised religions are apt to do, will not solve the issues, especially when many of their own people are the perpetrator of some of the most heinous conducts. It merely skims over things and dissolves us from the responsibilities of thinking further and to look beyond our mini-Pinochio noses. However, while I do not believe totally in the cold objectivity of social Darwinism, I believe that society will become self-destructive deal to its lack of altruism. This brings me to an article I read about anthropology in this magazine called 21st Century Science and Technology , which accuses this discipline of empiricising and othering non-White cultures. While my piece here is not going to go into the epistemological arguments in the article, a particular paragraph caught my attention. Since I do not have the magazine with me now (I am at work after all), I will paraphrase it for my readers. It says that when anthropologists go to certain 'primitive' cultures to study them, they make the empirical and ethnographer assumption that such there is uneven evolution within the human species, hence there are the very developed Aryan race (as the neo-Nazis would be proud to say) and the undeveloped, almost simian-like, Aborigines. What the anthropologists failed to address, the article claimed, is that these so called 'primitive' cultures could have been leftovers, or marginal groups, of a lost civilization, or one that is destroyed. I find this fascinating, as the level of knowledge of the average person of the great civilizations of the past is almost nil. Many can't even name the civilizations, let alone know why they fell. It seems that our education has failed in this regard, when we have postdocs and even some academics who do not know or understand what could have destroyed a supposedly sophisticated society. Perhaps we have doomed ourselves to repeat the mistakes of the past. When people like Darren Arofnosky and other non-mainstream publications (the fact that they are non-mainstream already marginalised them and hamper their ability to reach to the average Joe or Jane) try to rub some form of awareness into us via their art or creation, we often choose to ignore them. The people I know who have watched this film, which is the title of this post, agrees that showing impressionable kids the stuff in all their gory bits (even if it could be traumatic, but that is where the parents and more mature adults-note the use of the word 'mature'-is there to explain things to them) rather than moralising to them, serve as a stronger deterrent. Don't you agree?

Wasted Education

My friend and I were reading through Jeff Ooi's archive and we found a story on LimKokWing. HAving only spent 3 months in a private college (the sum of my private education), I am not able to comment too much, though from what I hear from college students of private institutions, the Education Ministry has failed in regulating the setting up of colleges, accreditation of the institutions and even in checking on the quality of the teaching staff, facilities, internal examinations and course contents. I have attended an interview for a job as a lecturer with a private college. They put me through some role-playing, by having me present a short lecture to a 'class' that consists of my interviewers. They seem impressed enough and I was shortlisted for an interview with the MD. That was where I met my Waterloo. Firstly, he thought my asking price was too high (due to my youth and my lack of consistent full-time work experience. Apparently, my past part time teaching experience and other related work experiences do not count) and from the way the interview went, I had a feeling that he was more interested in how much he could milk out of me for minimal pay. I was pretty appalled that the lecturers who were more senior than me were paid less than my asking price, which I felt was it was in a fair range (=RM2500) based on my past experiences and the amount of responsibilities I have to take on if I was to be given the post.

While waiting for that interview with the college's MD, I chatted with a fellow interviewee, whose idea of teaching college was teaching a tuition class (I wonder if she got the job), but I guess they must be impressed enough (or desperate enough) to pass her on for the second interview.

Anyhow, throughout the final interview, the MD seemed less interested in my teaching capabilities and how I could contribute to the students' and college's educational achievements (as to whether it existed or was I faking it) than how much he could pay me and all the roles that I was to assume as a "team-player" in a "corporate"-like environment. Needless to say, I never got the job.

While I would never deny the fact that many of the lecturers who decided to take up lecturing despite of the bad pay (though if you are some acclaimed professor from a public university, you can go in for a good position and higher pay. It is all about publicity) do it for the love, there are many others who do this job because no one in the industry or anywhere else would hire them. It is the second breed that we should be most concerned with, as there are more of them in private colleges, than the first breed. And also with the money grasping directors of colleges. What can one do when share-holders are more interested in profit margins than quality of education? After all, they see such ventures as a business, regardless of whose lives such ventures would affect.

Media

I am currently finishing up a paper that I would be giving at a conference, and my partner would be adding and revising it further. It is a paper on audience reception and new media and you can get the abstract here and then scroll down to page 37. You will find it. Of course, you are welcomed to look at all the other abstracts. (:

I am currently reading this book called Representing Women: Myths of Feminity in the Popular Media by Myra Macdonald and it has set me thinking as to how not only how the media portray women to be, but how the women like to portray themselves as. One of the easiest thermometer to use is to visit the various weblogs women (as in that we DO KNOW that they are women, and not men masquerading as one) have published, and read the kind of issues that focusses their attention. Or even how they present their more 'private' spheres for public consumption. I have also been surfing through various websites dedicated to women, both the commercial and semi-commercial sites, and it is interesting to note what they perceive as being matters of concern or import to their female audiences. This could be done by comparing with the sites specifically dedicated to men, or the cultural construction of the male persona. I am currently particularly interested in writing a paper, using feminist theories, to construct the media representation of beauty through the image they endorse with all its trappings (beauty paraphernalia or surgical reconstruction). This of course would require me to surf the net, look at women's magazines, watch ads, and look at ads everywhere (:. Since I am now working on a half finished paper, I might work on this later in August, or Sept.

Googolism, online networks (like Friendsters) and blogs provide a playground for the voyeur in us. It is so easy to stalk people nowadays, n'est-ce pas ?

Ugly Malaysian/Me

OK, need to rant here
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ugly Malaysians
1. Fraudulent
2. DIrty
3. Unethical behaviour in everything that they do
4. Parents who breed more ugly Malaysians
5. Getting themselves banned because they can't be trusted

What do Malaysians have to say about being the capital for fraud, illicit trafficking and endless stupidity? On the third count, I daren't say that I am any better, seeing that I am still around and not doing much about that,

The Naive Malaysians
1. Who think that life should be handed on a platter to them.
2. Who whinge and whine but basically refuse to do anything, even when given the opportunity to do so.
3. Who think that building the biggest roti canai or mooncake or penis (oops, I mean KL Tower) is equivalent to being world class.
3. Who think that Bangsar is the epitome of class and good food (this is targetted only at those who knows whom and who I mean).
4. Who think that the worst thing that can ever happen to them is to not get tickets to a big rave or a Britney Spears concert.
5. Who think that everyone is upper-middle class like themselves.
6. Who think everyone is as pedestrian as themselves.
7. Who think they are people to be reckoned with despite being citizens of a tiny country nobody gives two hoots about.
8. Who believe that Malaysia practises democracy.
9. Who wouldn't understand what am I going on about.


Peace

Can a literary critic be an expert on air safety?

I was looking for some works on Beauty by Elaine Scarry and came across this rather interesting article on how the English don has expended herself and her literary skills to decoding Electromagnetic Interference (EMI) and air crashes. Read on
http://partners.nytimes.com/library/magazine/home/20001119mag-scarry.html

Intellectual Mumbo?

Some of you might be aware of this, but to those who are not. Check it out here at Alan Sokal's webpage

The reason why he managed to pull this stunt of so convincingly could be due to the fact that anything goes, as long as you can explain it well. Sort of like those so-called postmodern-dada art tht you see in the Modern Art Museums in the First World countries. One thing about third world countries like Malaysia, because of the fact that most people still value utilitarian concepts or have a strong desire to see something that need not require too much extrapolation (or 'quantum leap') of the mind, stuff like these wouldn't be popular here. Cept among the more pretentious lot, maybe?

Writing and other things

I need to work very hard on my writing. How to write in a style that denotes brevity, clarity and wit. How to grab your attention from the moment you read the first paragraph, the headlines, the subtitles. How to write enticing prose minus the purple, velvet,and the obtuse (obscure, perhaps?). I am thereby embarking on this journey to learn how to read AND write better. Perhaps teaching young teens how to do the same might be the best lesson for myself.

From today onwards, I am going to dedicate myself to the life of honing and polishing the art of writing good prose and poems. Content, style and technique would be the three areas I will be keeping a sharp eye on. Hence, I am joining a writing workshop.

I was planning to go Brazil next month. I managed to get a bit of money to pay for my trip from the organisers but the management of the place I work in refuse to give me any kind of funding, even though I am representing them, not just as a participant, but as a speaker! Nevermind then, their lost. So, I am not going anymore for this round. Maybe the next time, when I am travelling the world. Decided to spend the next 5 months completing a paper, polishing another, write a few reviews,work on my dissertation and read as much poetry as I could.

I think I will be going to Australia instead. For the upcoming Melbourne Arts Festival.

I think I neeed to go to the gym again. Haven't been at it for a month.

I discovered a useful resource for writers-to-be at PlacesForWriters that I would like to share with all of you. This is also for the more experienced and jaded among you.

Btw, after October 17, I am going to be jobless. So if anyone would like to offer me a job that commensurates with my interest and experience, please email me. I prefer temporary positions, though full time ones are also accepted. I am however, only available for employment, in November.

Weblogs and poetry

Today, while discussing a project with my partner, we spoke of a world that is not created by imaginings, but by solid, tangible bric-a-brac and realism. In that, we branched off our discussion into weblogs (Sparked by a glance at a newspaper with a feature on blogs) and the voyeuer's playground. From my own surfing of blogs, I noticed that blogs with photos, artworks and even personal, pedestrian details of the writer's life generate a huge following from friends and strangers alike. One could of course argue that the blog circles are inbred and revolve around a community of people who specialise in patting each other on the back, or taking turns in writing comments on each other's blog, which is true with at least 70% of the blogs you see around, there are many worthy ones started out by individuals that have attracted the attention of new readers and popular following for their content and aesthetics, as opposed to rantings by kids (and adults) about their life, their activities (which are often repetitiously similar) with friends, their incessant partying, getting laid, shopping, bingeing (on food and alcohol) etc etc. Weblogs have been touted as the latest lifestyle gateway, with thousands of them popping all over cyberspace, started by individuals who often have little idea as to what they want to blog, and thus left blank or abandoned after a few inane postings. The question is, should one blog even when one has nothing new to add other than attracting the attention of would-be-stalkers and voyeurs or bored inviduals who surf through easy-to-read blogs out of lack of things to do (or imagination), or should it be limited to individuals who are empowered and who have something actually worth sharing. But then, who is to determine such lines anyway? Arguably, reading weblogs of these many varied individuals sometimes offer a disturbing insight into the cultural, political and ethical precepts of the global, affluent community (they are the ones with the luxury to blog).

On a different note, I read a rather insightful article (interview actually) on an artistic development of a poet which I would like to share with you. While it might not hit you the same way as it did me, it would still make insightful reads to those wanna-be poets out there like myself.
Interview with James Reidel

I was just looking through two Malaysian books (in between reading up on cognitive science, something which I will discuss in later blogs). One is a bibliography of Malaysian Literature in English compiled by Malachi Edwin Vethamani. Unfortunately, this book merely documents a bibliography of works produced by Malaysians in the last century and hence did not add in new works by younger and newer writers. It is also a sad tribute to the state of publishing in Malaysia, especially of English Language publishing, with very few quality works, and most of which have never reached an international audience, with the exception of a notable few like Shirley Lim. Even then, she was never quite a household name. The other book is Petals of Hibiscus, edited by Mohammad A. Quayam, Rosli Talif, and Noritah Omar. While it considers itself to provide a representative anthology of Malaysian Literature in English, which it did succeed in doing to the fair degree, it suffers almost similar fate as the previous bibliographic compilation, which is a lack of quality writings. Despite a stable of talented writers, something is keeping the Malaysian writers from moving into greater limelight and even maturity in their works. Even the few gems here and there speak of a potential that has never quite been reached.


If anyone (especially Malaysian writers) have any thoughts on these, do post your comments. We could perhaps even start a new thread of discussion.

Am I wasting my time?

Since I don't get much comments of late, either nobody reads this blog, or nobody has any comments to add. Hopefully it is the latter. What if nobody reads the blog? Should I just write for myself? OR should I write for an audience

Was going through some blogs today (was a bit bored) and came across numerous personal blogs of people with photographs of their friends, their shindigs, their active social lives and everything there is to say about their lives. Would people prefer to read things like that? Do they find my jottings so pedantically boring that they aren't worth reading at all?

Only they know...

What intellectual?

I went to a talk on how intellectuals can contribute to the politics in Malaysia last Monday. Was so tired that I took a nap and managed to wake up before the thing ended. While there are interesting aspects of the talk, one of the speakers ramble a bit too much. Nothing particularly new, and I am particularly disappointed with the level of Q&A session. It seems that there are people who can't differentiate between activism and intellectual activities, and how each can feed into the other, instead of trying to make one the other. While it is easy to just attack the system, a system remains a dead thing as long as there are no people to run it. People need to be mobilised and need to achive a sort of maturity for any democratic machine to be mature. As long as constituencies themselves are immature, I doubt any amount of activism will help. People are intellectually lazy by nature. The question is, how do you motivate them to be interested? And how do you keep the level of debate from falling down the pits and remaining at such a low level as to never ever effect change?


Ok, I am rambling too much here

Recently, I have been engaged in some debate on academic publishing online, especially that pertaining to third world nations. Many debates that go on in first world nations often ignore the lack of options of poverty-stricken nations. Albeit, you could argue that poor nations should find means to fend for themselves before engaging in any academic mongering. Well, you aren't too wrong. But this divide will never go away and the playing field levelled as long as we selfishly believe that only we the 'haves' should have the right to engage in cultural or intellectual activities, while poor people shouldn't and just be satisfied with living from day to day.

Here are the two opinions I have posted and you can read others' responses and opinions on the site
http://www.comm.umn.edu/mailman/private/cultstud-l/2004-May/007825.html
http://www.comm.umn.edu/mailman/private/cultstud-l/2004-May/007838.html

I haven't been doing as much work this week as I should. I seem to feel rather restless. Less tired today, which is why I can blog. (:


Going to sound more frivolous now and ask

"How many of you think that manicures and pedicures are a necessity? How often would you do that? Would you do it yourself or pay others to do it?"

"How often do you give your hair a nice and replenishing treatment?"


A word of advice to myself :have more compassion and be nicer

Another day in the life of..

Another review came out while I was away, Voices of Injustice You are allowed to like or hate it. However, do give this book of chance, inspite or despite of my review.

I have been reading various poetic works online. I am excited by the fact that one day, we will actually be reading hypertext of literary works, instead of buying them in paper. Though part of me is of the old fashion school that loves the feel of paper, we have to face the fact the publishing on paper is not viable, unless we are willing to use recycled paper, which technology of today has yet been able to produce a high-quality version. However, more for principles than taste, I would support publications that uses recycled paper. It can be cheaper as well.

Tonight, I am going to meet some young women for a tete-a-tete. Last Wed, I met some young women for a workshop on writing. Being a rather young and raw writer, I definitely need more exposure to polish up my style.

While reading through news of the turmoil surrounding Sonia Gandhi's refusal to take office as prime minister (I am sure all of you are reading that all over), I came across a clipping on the wedding of Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark to the Australian Mary Donaldson. Despite of the Prince Charles-Princess Diana saga, I supposed we who love fairy-tales can't get enough of that. I suppose now that hoards of commoner girls/women are vying for the hand of a few eligible princes left on this planet. I mean human princes. Wonder what is it like dating a prince. Can't be too different, sans bodyguards and high security. I would definitely like to keep my life under wraps. But then, never dated a prince.


Cheers all

Back from Indonesia

The trip to Indonesia was one great breather and a change of scene for me. I learn now to appreciate what I have, after seeing the kind of poverty prevalent around Jakarta and Jogjakarta. However, these provinces have their charms (Jogja is a special province of Indonesia) and the food was good. I managed to visit the various tourist traps (cottage industry crafts) and got myself a really nice set of kebaya, complete with a painstakingly painted silk scarf), a set of Rama and Sita wayang golek dolls and some silverware. Poverty make many of the craftmans and traders occasional mendacious merchants(though not done in a way that actually hurt the victim other than being a few dollars/ringgits poorer). It is easy for us to dismiss these as pure greed when taken out of context. While others grow portlier by ripping people off million of US dollars, these small-time "crooks" only do so to ensure their survival for another day in a society that is cold and cruel to them. While I do not endorse any form of dishonesty, it is better to recognise the root of the problem than to ignore it as just another irritant.

Jakarta has a thriving arts community that publishes books and high to middle brow journals. While they might not be doing anything particularly cutting edge, they are trying to move themselves forward by emulating as much as they could from the far richer West. It is hope that they would do a good and thorough soul-searching to ensure that they are not merely imitating without resolving to develop their own, original brand of products.

First day at work today. Attended a seminar organised in my absence "Religion's Challenge to Secularism in the Contemporary Age". What do you make of this headline? Ng Kam Weng, Khalid Jaafar, Christopher Merrill and Rustom Barucha were the panellists.

Really sleepy today...

Blogging from Jakarta

This is my third day in Jakarta. So far, so good. On the first day, 8th May, I spent most of the day sleeping, having not slept much the day before coming over. The flight was uneventful, and being used to longer flights, I didn't realise when we arrived. The airport is small but cozy looking, and as there were not too many travellers, we managed to get past the immigration in a relatively short time. Within minutes of arriving, I began to feel the humidity in the air striking me full force, and this despite having come from Kuala Lumpur. On the night of the first day, we spent our time eating and exploring the nightlife within Jakarta. On our way back, we passed a pathway that is a popular hangoug for the transvetite prostitutes in Jakarta. One of them actually got in front of our vehicle and attempted to bargain for some sort of work with the driver. Another one was showing off her wares, and she is pre-oped so one can imagine what could be seen. After facing some abuse for our reticence, we managed to drive away. This night, we watched some bits of the documentary "Women Film Desire". And then fell asleep.

Second Day
In the afternoon, we visited the National Museum of Jakarta in Batavia. It has a nice collection of artifacts from the various parts of the Indonesian islands, as well as bilingual write-ups in Bahasa Indonesia and English. There is a model mimbar (where the Bilal calling for prayers in Mosques would stand), a model temple and a model Dutch kerk. There were also beautiful antiques designed mostly in Batavia, made of hardwood. Unfortunately, the museum is not in as great a state it could have been, due to funding problems. For lunch, we went to a a rather high-end cafe with mosstly foreign clientele. However, the food was really good and I had a Flemish tarte with bacon for the first time in my life. THe Batavia punch that I had was actually pineapple punch and was rather refreshing after a very hot day. After lunch, we took a long bus ride to a big bookshop in Jalan Sunda. They have a wide selection of books, though more overpriced than in Malaysia due to the low turnover rate. However, they have some rather interesting selections, especially of Indonesian writers. I bought 3 books (including on on Islam) and the Poets&Writers Magazine which is published in the US but not available in Malaysian bookstores. After that, we went to another branch of the same bookshop in Pondok Indah to catch the rather interesting film on Frida Kahlo, the Mexican woman painter who became famous for her poignant and soul-ripping self-portraits. After that, we had a quick dinner at a small foodcourt in an adjacent mall and went home. After showering, I spend most of my time checking my email as well as reading up a bit more on Kahlo. Before going to bed, I watched the very 1984 type movie "Equilibrium"

For today, we haven't really done too much beyond lazing about at home. Will say more later.

Anyway, staying with a friend now so it is definitely a rather homely atmosphere. Good food and good company. Getting Indonesian home-cooked food everyday. (:

I think I should read my Sylvia Plath today. Haven't made much headway with it.

Latest news on meself

After having disappeared since last Fri, I am back again this Fri. I was and still am in Malaysia, though I am flying off to another land tomorrow morning. Don't worry, you will still be hearing from me, the erstwhile Malaysian.

There are a few things I would like to update all my readers on
1. I went to a celtic dance performance called Dance of Desire last Sunday. It was a long trip up and down from Genting Highlands, one of the most pretentious and garish Las Vegas wannabe in Malaysia. Ok, Genting (the company, not the place itself) is the only company in Malaysia licensed to run a casino. So, now you know where the people, unsatiated by mahjongs, card games, lottery tickets and the share market, would play the Russian roulette. For the information of my international readers non used to Malay, Genting means "steep/urgent". The dance performance is alright, though I could see that the sensuous desire rousing bit would come from the costumes and sexy body movements (though very tame by any standards). Though I got a bit lost during the story-dance-narration, I enjoyed the fluid body movements and resolve to take up tap-dancing (since I doubt I can take up Irish step dancing here). There was also some jazzy modern influence, as the dancers also cakewalked, with a hint of modern ballet (less pointy toe and more contemporary movements beyond the arabesque, pirouettes and gallops). I thought cake-walking is one of the most sensuous bit, and the African American dancers were traditionally known for that.

2. I am now a published poet! Ok, not in such a big way as yet, but hey, I am trying to break into creative writing, instead of always writing measly book reviews, magazine features and interviews. Not that I didn't enjoy those. I did and it has honed my writing skills quite a lot. Not to mention the many press releases I used to have to prepare at work (a practise in nondescript stylistics, an oxymoron I know).
Ok, here is the link http://scholar.library.miami.edu/anthurium/volume_2/issue_1/lee-pointless.htm
You should read some of the other poems published. They are quite insightful and good.

3. I have spent most of my week reading and reading. I am still reading Luce Irigaray's The Sex which is not One I am reading academic papers (for my research purpose), reading online articles and various other stuff. Speaking of which, I think you should check out www.popmatters.com. Good stuff. They try to be as international as they can, though currently constrained and their outlook is still rather American. I suppose you know that I used to do book reviews for them.

I should and will update some of the other parts of the site soon. Maybe when I get back from my trip. Feeling rather lazy at the moment. Today's morning was rather busy for me, as I spent it on a focus group research. Now I need to transcribe tapes...errgh. And, I have got some books to review. Plus a short story and poem to review. And two, three or more unfinished tasks.

Have a nice weekend ya all

Good/Bad week

It has been a long week. Feeling physically tired and am glad for the coming longggggggg weekend.
I will be going to Malaysia's version of Las Vegas, Genting Highlands, (yes this is a highland as opposed to a desert) for a celtic dance performance this coming Sunday. As I grudgingly make my way there, I hope the show is good. Perhaps I will write a review of it here, if someone pays me :D

Anyway, Tues was a meeting with some NGOS talking about politicking within NGO bodies. The topic of discussion, based on Petras's paper, is about NGOS in service of imperialism. It is interesting to see the many reactions that paper elucidated. I hope that they would have another session to discuss the problems and strategies to overcome so that it would not turn into another mud-slinging match like that of the politicians. What can I say. As long as there are humans, politics will never die. Even the animals have their own version of politics.

Wed, went for a haircut (just trimmed my hair a little) and then for dinner and a gig of an Australian band that was having a preview concert. The performance was good, but the sound system was horrible. Not properly tuned and adjusted, I'll say. They are performing again today and the person is called Shane Simmon. Anyone has heard of him?

Thurs. Bloody flash flood everywhere. Took me 1 hour 15 minutes to get to a place that would usually take me 15 minutes. But, had a good meeting with some people. In the course of some discussion and conversation with some people, I realised that while we may accuse the right wing conservatives of many faults, they do have their own axe to grind bout various issues that I am sure even the left-wing people could empathise with. Don't we all want financial security...whatever our beliefs may be. Perhaps practises do not always go hand in hand with theory. It is easy for us to theorise about people's miseries, unfair laws and stuff like that. But when it comes to the crux, do we really believe in helping the weak, especially if it means taking our own hard earn cash from our own pockets. I am not talking about homes, refuges or charity. I am talking about implementing a very good Social Security System. As well as good health care (which could mean higher taxes). While in Malaysia, we say that we do not mind paying higher taxes if the government is more accountable, is this really true? How much is altruism and how much is self-centredness?

Ok, that's all I gotta say, for now at least. Looking forward to my coming hols. Will still need to work but at least in my own time.

Literary (poetic?) Scam

This internet has work wonders and work evils. Scams have moved away from pure money making businesses to those preying on one's pride and vanity, or delusions, whichever way you would have it. Here are some scams that I have come my way, and I have actually tried them out and lo and behold, they are scams. Anyway I have since submitted my poetic aspirations elsewhere and have ignored their cajoling mailers. Yes, I was told that I won some medals (Can't remember what by now) though of course I have to PAY them money to publish or get prizes. I don't recall award winners of legitimate prizes ever paying to win . If I had been that vain and stupid, I might have fallen for it. What rot.
However, despite me not having paid a cent, they still retained the poem I submitted, hmmmm......they must have need to justify themselves.
5.1 million poets. I feel so.....pedestrian. Just type in the search Lee Clarissa



Check this out
International Society of Poets- this of course has morphed into various other names and denominations. I am sure some of your poetic aspirants are aware or www.poetry.com? Well, this is a scam.
Here are a few evidences
http://www.lincolntrudeau.homestead.com/poemconv.html
http://www.complaints.com/january2002/complaintoftheday.january9.12.htm
http://w3.ripoffreport.com/results.asp?q1=ALL&q4=&q6=&q3=&q2=&q7=&searchtype=0&submit2=Search%21&q5=Poetry.com+-+International+Society+Of+Poets&submit=Search
http://www.toad.net/~andrews/scam.html
and finally, an advice to you would-be-writers.
http://www.sfwa.org/beware/contests.html

Many of the poems in there aren't exactly poets. They write well yes (in terms of putting words to paper), but most of the verses are forgettable (which means like 99%) and does not transcend. Some would had been better as song lyrics. Most of my early verses are forgettable and not worth publishing except in my vanity pages (FOC). I have writen a doggerel which I don't see as a poem but as a skeleton for future works.

Aren't we suckers for 2 minutes of fame?

Next week: Scams aiming at models and actors wannabe

Really, someone should write a book on the culture of cyber-scamming (or has someone already done so?)

New links

Do check out my little shrine to the 10th Anniversary of Rwanda Genocide Memorial under News and Updates. On a more boastful side, I have actually been added to someone's list of weekly diversions. Be great if the people who find my site through that site would visit some of the other parts of Archive Of Learning, which seeks to morph and develop with its visitors and its author.

Btw, i have updated the Links and Consciousness pages.
I have removed a dead link and added a new link to something I found on MIT's site as well as a link to a scientist whose first novel on consciousness I am reading now. This is rather exciting in view of the research that I am conducting now, which I hope could link me to the idea of cognition and consciousness further down the road, though it is now marketed as "media research" for now. More on these as I read through and write up my preliminary report.

On a religious front

SOme of you might have heard, read or seen the book Da Vinci's Code by Dan Brown. Well, here are some critical reviews of it, and its 'facts' by Leader University

groom or broom?

Just can't resist doing a bit of announcement saying that a review I wrote of a grooming tips book published in Malaysia has just come out. Caveat : not a very flattering review. Anyway, read it if you have the time. If not, don't bother. I suppose that now Malaysia has its first Malaysian Guess Face, ther would be many ladies of various aspirations and pretensions harbour the secret of getting the "model look" ? What more with today's feature on the new Miss Malaysia/Universe 2004 Review appearing at an apt time, no? I have jumped into the bandwagon of fashion and beauty!

More later.

anthropology of office politics

Best way to find out bout humans at their worst. One thing I like bout working in an institution that impinges into industry is that you get to be a hanger on to corporate office gossips :P

Face and the market

I was reading through the Malaysian Edition of Marie Claire and marvelled at how fashion has not really change much over the decades. Sure, there is always something claimed to be the new look which we all know as just recycled stuff from centuries of fashion developed since the beginning of civilisation. What is of greater interest to me now, beneath all the make up and clothes touted by the magazines to make you look like the hottest mannequin on the runway. The face of the mannequin. What makes them so popular and saleable? What makes them so highly marketeable that they are paid thousands just to pose, to be made up and dressed beautifully and to transform fashion photography into an art from the various pouts? (or as the dadas might call it performance art). A young Malaysian model, Amber Chia, is now touted as a soon to be supermodel, based on her success on being one of the faces for Guest Watch. What was Paul Marciano thinking when he picked her? Flipping through magazines would have various marketing directors of various luxury brands telling you why they pick this or that model (who inevitably has either been taken from winners of beauty pageants, modelling contests or high profile celebrities) to represent their product. But how does one put a face to a product? Is physical beauty now about being able to put a face to a luxury brand? How does a person associate a face with a brand? Why the need for branding using faces of men and women. Do we feel better using products that have for a spokesperson, a highly commodified individual, that is usually unreachable (despite all the rhetoric of being down to earth, simple, girl or guy next door). There are now fansites dedicated to these former clothes horse turned "models" (as opposed to the posthuman ideology that dehumanises human from the humanous to the posthumanous, fashion goes through dehumanising, humanising and dehumanising while humanising)
I am a woman on the street asking this question. I am no model nor do I have a marketable face. However, I am definitely intrigue by the idea of sex, body, face and the market forces.

Do these people live happily ever after, with all the applause that came with such enviable positions? Or do they go the way of expired products, with only an exceptional few breaking out? One can't trust what they tell you via media nowadays. Being in the fringe of the media industry, I do know that there are reporters and writers out there who don't believe in all that they write. There is always a need to emphasise the normal and the glam. Hence articles subterfuging the advertorial. Do luxury brands (like CD, LV,Dunhill products) expire or will they always remain timeless (as their ads like to tout).

This got me thinking of a movie starring Vanessa Redgrave and her sister (forgot the name) about a former child actress who spend most of her middle age thinking back of the glory days and feeling bitter about her current status.

If anyone knows of any studies done on this, let me know so that I can link it to ArchiveofLearning. This might be my next research programme, especially as part of my project on women and media.

sympathy

One things, based on varying interpretations , as to whether a person deserves sympathy for any act or misfortune that befalls. Or perhaps life is that merciless and therefore nobody deserves sympathy of any sort.

What makes art? I am struggling with this idea. I will attempt to recreate my own art, based on the idea of contingency - inspired by a book I read, which I will review for this site soon enough.

could a piece of concept be an art? Would something that causes aesthetic or sensual pleasures running though our very veins be considered art?

would a poem with very good concept and idea but lacking in metaphorical transcendance be considered artistic?

Can't believe that I am thinking all these things in the first half of my workday

Admittedly, I am getting bored with strict hours. My colleague has just gone to Hong Kong to view an art exhibition, courtesy of a sponsor. Sigh...

I could do with junkets like this.

Environment

I suppose that it never occured to us as we plan our holidays domestically or to exotic places abroad, we might be aiding in the destruction of the eco-system, what contributing to non-sustainable economy.
Articles on environment have of course come up again and again in various newspapers in Malaysia. Unfortunately, they never seem to occupy the same importance as what some minister or another has to say about something (like the recent brouhaha (a joke, if you ask me) on the National Service issue-for those who not in the know, Malaysia has tried to implement a national service system like Israel, Singapore and various strategically (or imagined to be) threatened countries.
I find it interesting that an article about how the indiscriminate building of holiday resorts in Port Dickson is juxtaposed next to an ad to the reader about booking a holiday with a resort in Terengganu. See Crowded Beachfront. What would be an academic or lay person's take on this? A way to forget about the gravity of the issue by immersing yourself in the epicurean pleasures of a decadent holiday in the yearly holiday plans?

Also, check out this Notification on Further work on the effects on forest biological diversity of insufficient forest law enforcement Thematic area: Forest Biological Diversity. Perhaps you might want to check if your respective countries participant to this proposition. To know where all this is coming from check out the website for the Convention for Biological Diversity

Tired

I seem to be perpetually tired every afternoon after lunch time, no matter how much sleep I have had. This does not only happen on weekdays but also on weekends. I think it is time to review my eating habits. Or it could have been the heat stroke (apparently 2 ppl I know are now suffering from that). It has been rather warm lately, followed by thunderstorm and shower.

I now realised how hard it is to find works of Malay classics in Malaysia, strangely enough. After going to a few bookstores known for selling more local works, I have yet to find any of the books I want. This reminds me of reading a particular comic strip by Lat, where there was this guy going around trying to get HIkayat Abdullah Munshi, canvassing areas from big bookshops to our august Dewan Bahasa and Pustaka and finally finding the book he wants at a local indian newsagent. Though I wasn't so lucky. If anyone out there reading this blog knows a good place to find these books, please let me know!

I attended a study session (well, the final hour of it) and realised now that many of the issues plaguing the religions of the Book are similar (I know people who would choose to disagree with me on this), as various factions and believers wrestle with multitudinous interpretations, problems caused by uninspired/dogmatics writers by certain theologians/religious scholars, and narrow worldviews that refuse to observe one's own short comings. I am making a study on this end whenever I could, though I have been rather lax in doing so of late. (:

Another problem that I had experienced over the weekend is realising how complex a poet I had picked to study for my dissertation. While many good poets are complex, this particular poet's complexity has so many layers to pick that one does not know where to start. She is not simple in anyway. Period. I realise that it would be a long while before I could reach such standards in my quest to write poetry, but then I will drill myself at it.

On a lighter note, I had the most delicious French dinner last Sat, though I was tired out when the final course was eaten and the bill was paid.

When my car gave me grief again over a traffic jam, I contemplated not driving in this notoriously bad public transport country of Malaysia but I shudder at the thought. Maybe I will just drive less and take public transport where possible.

I realise that I did not quite do everything that I set out to do over the weekend, but it was a good one nevertheless.

Hullaboo

It has been almost a week since I last blogged. In fact, it is a week. Many things have happened since, including one of the most relaxing weekend ever, which means not having to run errands or do work, other than picking up some stuff on the way out, renewing some library books and doing some grocery shopping ( ok, a bit of errands but nothing tough). It is also one weekend spent on loading up the calories so I am going to spend this week, and the followings ones, unloading them. Through regular exercise of course.

Due to my heavy work load last week, I wasn't able to go anywhere really much. However, I succeeded in reading through some essays by a group of Englightenment scholars, talking about subjects as wide ranging and as familiar today as civil liberties, governments, rights of (wo)men, politics etc. One realises from reading ppl like Rousseau, Voltaire, Herder, Priestley et al, that ideas and ideals haven't changed much (though Voltaire made boo boos when talking bout the science of anatomy by saying that a negro (black be the PC word) innards differ from that of the white men. However, the gaffe was more funny than insulting, and basically, he was trying, in that particular essay (title I have forgotten since I returned the book) that all men are as good and as bad as the next person and that it is mostly the system they live in that render them bad.

Best way to begin reading these people is to begin by looking at anthologies compiled by scholars of today. That way, you get a feel of each writer before endeavouring to explore them further. I wish I have had the time to finish up that particular anthology (it was from the Cambridge Series) and write a longer critique on the essays by doing a comparison with some of today's political systems. I will do that in due course, but I am too busy with work and various projects right now.

This particular anthology (called keyword search "Enlightenment", sorry, forgot the full title) was targetted at introductory courses in political thought, history and all related fields. It is by reading works like this that I realise how "uneducated" I am, despite spending 4 years doing undergraduate in university , taking my sweet time to learn as many subjects inside and outside my field (which was Physics) as I possibly could, while having the time to absorb everything. Of course, 3 years was not enough for a person as unfocussed as I was, though a majority of my coursemates who went in together with me (from Physics) had graduated by then. Maybe I am a slow learner. Even then, despite doing my MA now and having completed all my coursework, I still feel like I am lacking in the liberal Arts education. Could it be that the way "higher education" is structured today leave many students feeling inadequate and half-educated? Was the old system better?
I guess in this age of specialisation, people know more and more about less and less. But then, I seem to encounter people who seem to know less and less about more and more.

What say you?

101 things

I have, to quote one of my bosses, 101 things to do for these past few days, hence the sparseness of updates. Bad excuse, I know. I realise that I need to find a more effective way of sorting out not only my work, but my personal life. Hard when one knows that one is an impulsive person who likes to live spontaneously. Trying to categorise between work, personal work (as in work done outside work hours) and personal life (which includes, among other things, my social life, family life, other lives (not saying), hobbies and personal interests done to merely feed my satisfaction and ego (doh!)

I thought that blogging could help organise my thoughts, besides being a receptacle to my thoughts, ravings, rants and jottings.

Since I started blogging more regularly 3 weeks back, there is of course a few things added/revived on a professional and personal side. Professional being that I have got a research ongoing, and on a person front...not telling in this public-private blog :P

Hope that all of you would have a better day than me. Oh yeah, gonna attend something tonight which I will enlighten you about later. Ta ta, my sweeties.

Lack of practicability

Glossary for overseas readers
BN - National Coalition
BA - Alternative Coalition
PAS - Islamic Party of Malaysia
The last weekend would had been great if my car had not broken down halfway, partly due to inexperience and carelessness on my part. I supposed I have not bother to keep up to speed with the general condition of my car, having lost my paranoia that it would and could break down anytime. I have forgotten that my car is old and needs constant attention, by keeping a hand on its pulse. Hence I am now without my car for three days.

Having have this happened to me, I realise now that the reason why BN won big time, and perhaps opposition lost big time, is the latter's inability to keep to the pulse of the nation. Perhaps we could blame the apathy in the people, of being afraid of change, of being afraid of losing their perks, or being afraid that they will be ill-used if the Big Brother found out about their 'betrayal' (very real fears for some of them), of couldn't care less as long as the country is still surviving, or perhaps a narrow worldview (knowing more about what is going on in the US than in their own home country). Nevertheless, all these excuses aside, I think in general, the BA has not provided workable manifestors- I don't mean that all their plans are unworkable, in fact most of the plans are good, though lacking in details (but very few voters bother with details, come to think of it). It is always good to have the ideal. But one should not forget what kind of voters one have. And how they think. In a country that places economic well-being above the well-being of the masses, you are not going to get any support for change during the 8 day campaign period. Though I do not always agree with Mike Moore, I do agree when he say that you are not going to buy over your voters by giving them altruistic and idealistic agendas unless they are already converted to that belief. You have to educate them bit by bit. Harping about human rights (something which I feel strongly about), will not work in a constituency who cares more about earning money to feed their kids than about getting minimum wage. Some might think, "what if voting for these people might cause me to lose whatever meagre perks I have now?"

I also believe that the Opposition, should not make small issues their BIG issues, because it would make their voters think that they are reactionaries, people who could react to issues but have nothing solid to back up whatever raw assertions that they make. Take the case of mother tongue education. I am all for learning your mother tongue (or whatever language that you choose to learn), but I believe that it should be done in a way that would benefit the students who are SUPPOSED to be the beneficiaries. What is the point of talking about government conspiracy in oppressing vernacular education (even if it exists) as it would not help these students in any way. I know of course that all schools do not receive equal funding. This is not only the case with vernacular-language schools, but also even government funded national-language (Malay) schools. When the government fails you, you have no choice (until the next election comes about) but to organise yourself and work around them (even if they are trying their level best to screw you).

I do know that the Opposition are hampered by being a minority in Parliament. Perhaps the people are partly to be blamed for it (and for taking the easy excuse of 1. Nobody to choose from 2. BN will win anyway 3. I forgot to register 4. Better the devil we know). But I always think, even with the odds against you, that it is possible to still work around it. Grassroots organisations within oppressed countries like Burma have allowed the various minority ethnic groups their voice. I think that it is a shame that PAS, after having won Kelantan and Terengganu, did not choose to make a difference, even in small ways. In fact, they have oppressed the people further by introducing a host of ridiculous rules that I suspect have little to do with Islam in the first place. I believe that the people voted them into power because they were fedup with BN. But they realised that they weren't getting anywhere with PAS. So why not vote for the devil that we used to know, especially since there is a new Prime Minister who is the son of a Muslim Scholar (as the national dailies are so fond of harping on). DAP, despite its altercation with its allies, have managed to sustain a rather impressive performance. Perhaps we should thank its various MPs who had tried to make a difference, despite the limitations which they have to face.

So, what do you think? In face of a governmental machinery that would make life difficult for you when you choose to work change from the outside, should you then swallow your pride and be its bed partner? Or is it still possible to work around the system for change. This is what I am trying to figure out to determine what I hope to do for my future. Looks like party politics aren't going to go away, since everyone have to campaign under a party flag in order to get the required support (from campaign workers down to the voters). Of course, certain outstanding indivuals have managed to get support even from previously apolitical people, but that is few and far between. Looks like Malaysia is still a long way from achieving a thinking democracy bereft of flags, posters, slogans, propaganda ads and mud-slinging leaflets. One where the media is free to air a list of information and the rest of us to click online and vote based on the candidate's track record (not necessary as an MP, especially for a first timer). Maybe we are still at the phase where we need to consult our astrologer and feng shui instead of listening hard to our minds and heart....but then, how many people are thinking types?


Any thoughts?

Singletons in Kampungs and Towns, big and small

Following from my orevious posting, I can write about young single men and women around Malaysia, their lives, their happiness, their misery, their values, their dreams, goals etc etc. And then, there is plot..

Makes a good novel. Anybody interested?

To write a book or not?

In this age of anything goes, publishing houses are all jumping on the bandwagon to publish anything and everything, as long as they think that they have a market that would lap it up. In fact, you don't even need to always be a good writer. As long as you publish something that people would read, good writing be damn. I have actually reviewed books that look like they have been hurriedly edited (if edited at all). That by supposedly well published writers. Every consultant in management, grooming, real estate, feng shui, yada yada yada, are publishing their books. In the book hypermarket, you can get anything from how to hammer a nail to how to how to be the next CEO. Talking about hype, Economist actually have an article about the hype surrounding Harry Potter books (and its ilk).. Even bloggers get published because of their blogs. Joseph Epstein has an advice for all potential writers who think that they will write the next great novel or whatever genre they are hoping to write.

I notice that that many publishing houses outside the western sphere do not get listed on google very much, let alone Amazon. Not to say that they aren't listed. It's just that it is hard to find them. I'll see if I can find a list of all the publishing houses within South East Asia, for a start. If there aren't any, I will start compiling them. Perhaps I should put out a call to all houses to send me their website, email, address and types of publications? Or should it be better to compile a list of available books in SEA? As a freelance reviewer, I try checking out publishing houses to get their book lists. I notice that sometimes, some of these houses have not published anything new in a long time. Perhaps they are sending me their outdated list?

What are your thoughts? With the advent of e-publishing, there are now many self-published authors out there. Some stuff are good. The rest is pure vanity.

To get some books from Malaysia, Singapore and some other countries in SEA, you might want to try Silverfishbooks

Why...

have I not posted any new articles on this site? Well, mainly because most of my creative/brain work in progress are geared towards publication, which means I can't publish them here yet. However, hopefully after July, or even before, I would be able to write something which I will post exclusively on archiveoflearning. I just need more time. Speaking of publishing, I came across this article in American Institute of Physics website which talks about the phenomena of publishing or perishing. Remember all the hyper surrounding plagiarising that has caused the downfall of various eminent academics? Here is one on whether and how much value is attached to being constantly published. The title is Publish or Perish--An Ailing Enterprise. I used to be a member of AIP when I was a physics undergrad. In a way, I missed those days, despite all the teeth gnashing to solve indecipherable problems.

Someone once said that Malaysians are very right or left. I suppose they go whichever way that suit their need. Malaysians are also said not to have a concept of Left. What is Left? New Left? Old Left? Marxist Left? Frankly speaking, I doubt most of American polemics have a clear concept of left or right. The worst kind of polemics you get, unfortunately for the rights, are the Rights. Check out this RightWingNews. I know that the Left could be as polemical, given the stage to do so. Or maybe they are rights pretending to be Left? Anyway, counterpart of the RightWingNews is the LeftWingNews. Not exactly opposites of each other of course. But both in blogstyles, bashing regimes here and there. Let you decide whom you think has more reasoned arguments.

Humans are humans. They can lose reason

A few things

Complex arguments on why the postmodern west is bad in their commodification and materialism has been watered down, sieved and finally simplified to all things from the west is bad for week-kneed Asians. Talk about presumptious generalisation. Apparently, this is how students are being taught at school. Currently reading an old book (from the last century) by Ziauddin Sardar called "Postmodernism and The Other: The New Imperialism of Western Culture". Many of the arguments by various scholars could all be obtained in this book. He has valid points though I think he sometimes make certain generalisations about the West as much as the Non-West. But then, this is what one calls angling and perspective. Virginia Woolf does a good job in providing the pan-optican sweep. Though I agree with the points his made, I disagree with his overwhelmingly negative take on postmodernism, as well as his simplifying of it. Everything has its good and bad. Sometimes, bad things is packaged as something acceptable just to make its presence omnipotent. So many things are lumped into the postmodern because nobody really understands it. I am still trying to figure it out myself. SOmetimes, I think these things have more to do with human failures than human theories. I do disagree with theorists who over-step boundaries to demean the meaning of life. Or perhaps if life is so meaningless, why do we all bother with theories. Lets just live the life of a hedonist, try everything then kill ourselves.

Then there is the question of the soul......or would it be total annihilation?

I supposed Ziauddin is just trying to critique the negative aspect of postmodernism, though from the tone he uses, it seems like he doesn't like postmodernism. That's alright, many people don't like it either. Heck, many don't even like modernism, let alone what comes after...and I don't mean anti-globalists.

Anyway talking about the issue of how The Body Shop and sundry other western cosmetic companies who capitalise on the longing for the so-called exotic, I think it should be the part and parcel of every child's primary education to understand
1. The basics of health care and medicine....especially on drugs use (including THAT prescribed by the doctors). I think many doctors in poorly regulated health care systems tend to over-prescribe on drugs that can lead to overwhelmingly negative consequences.

2. The issue of choice. How does on make a choice when assaulted with so many reasons for swinging this way and that? How to be conscious that we DO leave in a world of propaganda and that we need to make INFORMED choices, and how to go about finding the information.

3.How to be a proactive citizen and take an active in legislations that will affect their lives. We realise that we allow many things to happen coz we couldn't be bothered. Instead of giving ourselves a hard time fighting against a bad system that is already there, be aware of it before it even happens. I know this is hard, since some people will always try to keep information from going out to the people at large. So, lets champion for an act, that not only allows freedom of information flow, but one which we could sue for NOT letting an issue of public interest be MADE KNOWN in its early stage.
Then, there is this chicken-and-egg theory as to what is or is not public interest, but these are details that could be work out.

4.How to be a good consumer of whatever items and products.

5.To understand that everyone does not share 100% of your viewpoints with you. That includes beliefs, ideology, creeds, whatever.

Any more points?

Btw, now that I have installed the comments option, you can all add your comments to mine.
Heh

Monday Post

Here I am, back at work again, struck with Mon blues. Ok, it isn't that bad except that I just recovered from the stomach flu over the weekend. It hasn't been all bad, since I spent a bit of my time volunteering for a cause as a good citizen of this country. Well, it is a bit political, in the hindsight.

Anyway, here are a few interesting sites which I have surf and found. Am currently working on a project on websurfers. Tell you guys more once it is underway. Need to get back to reading some papers to prepare for that.

On the side, am working on a project related to the eighteenth century. More on that too later...

http://www.cluetrain.com/book/index.html
http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/red/
http://www.rageboy.com/scream3.html

P.S> I wonder if I should make this blog more personal. But then, I don't want to turn this into a voyeuer's playground. I will strike my own balance.

Cheerios

Few questions to ponder upon

This idea struck me yesterday, but I could only get on today, to blog this:
1. When one nominates candidates to represent a particular state or district in a country, is it fair to the voters in the cases when there are only two contenders, and one is rejected due to technical errors during the nomination, to allow the one and only contender left to have a walk-through? Or should the particular district or state wait for a few months for another contender to come up and therefore challenge the current one? Would that be fairer to the constituents? That would keep them on their toes as oppose to becoming complacent. Bear in mind of course that their is no perfect fairness in elections, especially in a system where the supposed majority (whose votes are not spoilt) are the voice for all.

2. We have seen a dip in the way education is being implemented worldwide, which is a disgrace. How do we overcome this?

3. How well do you think theories work in providing solutions to practical problems?

stuck in the rut

As a young student, I used to think that getting a scholarship from the government to study overseas was one big deal. That was when scholarships were still rare. Well, scholarships now I not as rare, especially for a non-bumiputera student of Malaysia, and it became a trophy to be coveted by post-high school students and parents alike. Every A1s and A2s are calculated to bringing the student a step closer to the trophy. Many students are taking a lot of subjects just so that they could improve their chances of getting more A1s (who cares whether one learns anything). I was once told by a friend that it is stupid to jeopardize your chance of getting an A for the sake of trying to learn something the proper way. More important to learn how to pass exams with flying colours. Well, I guess that is why I never got my As. Idealism never help in this respect.

Also on the question of scholarships. This government scholarships, dished out to supposedly 'sterling' students (who managed to get all the questions answered the right way), to allow them a chance to study overseas. Many of these students aren't exactly from poor homes. In fact, a number belong to the top 5% income earners of Malaysia, if not top 1%. Scholarships are no longer a financial relieve given to poor students to allow them to pay their fees and further their education. It has become an investment in itself. If I have money to live well but not enough to live lavishly, getting a scholarship will allow me a chance to buy a car or another house (and all these while still a student). I have heard of these happening before. While I think that students who do well should be rewarded, perhaps it is high time to examine this system of reward. Aren't we rewarding people who are already advantaged by the very fact of their birth and socio-economic background? perhaps a few of these people are deserving people who would not go far without financial aid, despite being promising. But nowadays, that doesn't count. Getting a scholarship is all that matters. Whether you are a Datuk's child or if you belong to the squatter's community.

ALso the idea of using scholarship money to send people overseas. WHile I am not totally against it, I do wonder about sending so many students overseas with the tax payers money. Wouldn't it be better, in the long run, to actually improve the system of education IN the country, instead of having all the money flow out? Or perhaps we have not over the colonial mindset that overseas is always better. Perhaps it is, since they have had more centuries to develop. I think student excahnge programmes are good. Europe, America and Japan spend money sending their students abroad for a semester or two's exchange programmes. Wouldn't this be better than sending a few kids abroad to study? It would save money and more students would benefit. More students would be grateful. How does one ensure that those kids you send overseas would be grateful anyway? If there is anything we learn in life, being grateful is for fools...aint it? However, if corporations want to send the kids overseas with their money, by all means. Actually, I think it would be better to send a slightly more mature person (regardless of age) abroad as they actually would benefit more.

Maybe this obssession with A1s and A2s might be something that give you short term honour within your small community. But it does not ensure a brilliant mind, critical abilities or ability to create. It allows mediocre people like you and I, to go around saying "Hey, I got 11A1s, 12A1s etc etc" . We know that we would not write a book worth writing, exhibit our artistic work, innovate a better way of making cars, make technological improvements nor compose a good piece of music by 21.

P.S. To my international readers, this is a mere reflection of the Malaysian community. However, I would welcome feedback from you on your individual communities. Cheers!

....

Can't think of a title for this blog, so it shall remain untitled. I have finished the coursework part of my MA course (though I have yet to know the grade I will get for the final paper, hopefully I won't fail at the last leg!). In the meantime, I have to rework a paper on postmodernity and its paradox in today's worlview of Islam. Or maybe I will look at it from a different angle. Who knows. This is going to be another busy week for myself, though I have been taking things slowly since last Saturday. Been reading Faulkner's Light in August. Kept skipping to the back just to see what happen. Shouldn't have. The thing about a good book is that you will never fully understand what happen unless you read it til the end. That is how it differs from potboilers I suppose. I am also suppose to structure out my dissertation on Sylvia Plath while doing the literature review. I better get all those little projects out of the way just so that I can spend more time on them. Looks like that Class on Appreciation has to take a backseat for now until I can get my dissertation off and running. Or until I quit my job. Whichever comes first. Hopefully the former.

Anyway, my dearies, here are some blogs that you might want to check out, some belonging to friends and some to strangers. Oh yeah, some aren't blogs either. Here they are
http://www.infomuse.net/blog/archives/2004_03.html
http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Residence/1216/academia.html
http://leeum.blogspot.com/
http://life.of.neekole.com/
http://michel.pycs.net/
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/9828/index2.html

Have fun surfing! Can be pretty addictive.

Have a fine

I have recently visited the national art gallery, just last Thursday, on Thaipusam. There was an exhibition on Contemporary Art from China, showcasing the many different ways in which one can use ink to create different effects on canvas. There was a particular painting, called DNA of people/, which seems at first to be nothing more than repetitions of faces , smeared and blurred with smudges of ink, diluted with oil. Or black water colour. Yet it later struck me that this theme is repeated many times in various other paintings by other artists, all with shadowy or alluding images of people, yet their faces unknown and blanked out, leaving only their shapes to play other lines and blotches, ridges and raw edges. In some of the paintings, there were depictions of the old with the new. One see in one canvas, rows of different shoes worn by Chinese ladies from the first half of the last century to a century or more before. And yet in another painting, with repeated motifs, one see allusions to the crassness or even cruelty of modern technology, each of these items signifying man's rule on earth buffeted with blotches for cushion. The collection themselves are very small, yet they left me with a sense of niggling doubt as to what role has art in this day and age, where everything seem blaise and utilitarian. Perhaps another observer would see something different, or nothing, from those paintings. I next checked out the National Library, just two doors away. It is as messy and unkempt as ever, at least at the lending section. But I managed to find some rather interesting books which I will read, and write about once I am done reading them.

Today, I went to a class discussion on Conrad, Ellison and Faulkner. I have to confess that I did not read the latter two before going to class, but I definitely will now. Am now at the last leg of reading Jean Rhys's Quartets. While I caught my human self sneering at the weak-willed heroine, I realise just how much myself, and even supposedly 'strong' people around me, are as bad, or even worse. Perhaps we want to prove that our humanity is not weak. Perhaps we are struggling with the last throes of humanity as we plunge into the inhuman. Heck, even postmodern theories are now moving away from being anthropocentric. But then, are these theories of any practical use? Or are they echoes of our thoughts, couched in fancy terms?

Full time

Just as I was wondering which direction my life is heading, a full-time job landed on my lap. Now, I am a research fellow with the Asian Center For Media Studies. I have just finished organising and seeing a conference through. Will let you all know all about it once I have it up on the website. Other areas of my life have been on halt due to that, and due to a flu, which incapacitated me most of the time that I am not busy running through the finer details of the conference. I haven't really written anything for so long that I think I had lost the ability to write fluidly. A friend and I am trying to start a focus group that could empower ourselves to work within women's issues. Seeing that such groups exist already within the Klang Valley, I am thinking of a linkup. But, I need time to sit back and plan out the agenda. Now that I am quite recovered and the conference is behind me, I am trying to catch up with as much things that have been lagging behind as I could. I will try updating this site more often. Am now mastering the interface that Jonathan Poh has given me. Will post more soon.

Have a day

Busy Bee...or sluggish snail ?

Hey all,
I guess you do wonder where and what have I been up to, haven't you? Well been busy with my semi-professional, academic and private life. Or busy trying to escape doing work :P OK, just kidding on that. Been doing a bit of soul searching, trying to figure what should I do with my life and which direction I should take. Frankly speaking, I am torn between many things. However, things are slowly working out. In the meanwhile, I have been writing,writing and writing. Besides that, I have also been reading, reading and reading. Supposed to be working on a sundry of personal and professional projects. Things are going well, albeit slowly. That can be very frustrating, definitely. Have to plan out the proposal for my soon to begin MA dissertation (arrgh....). Ok, that wasn't so bad. I already have a few topics in mind that I just need to zero in and do some literature review on. Oh, did I mention that I had put myself out in the job market? That had been a really frustrating endeavour, with interviews after interviews. Will let you guys know how I fare later on. Never thought that an "early career change" could be so hard. Most employers don't understand the esoteric stuff that you've learnt from the cloistered ivory towers. Good finances is a must if you want to get into anything. Learnt that the hard way. Anyway, will write more in a not too distant date, when the re-building of this site has been completed. I have to thank Jonathan Poh for his dedication in making sure that everything is just right. (: Cool to have friends like this.